Against All Odds
by MandiMojo49
Summary: On her way back to America, Angela Stewart meets and eventually falls in love with the Titanic's First Officer. However, with her set to marry a man arranged for her, and him engaged to another woman, there are bumps along the way. * REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW *
1. Chapter 1

****5/12/17 To all readers who are reading this for the first time: I am currently fixing continuity mistakes and doing some minor rewrites. It will take some time. Thank you for reading!****

 ** _**I do not own Titanic, 1997, or its characters. Only my own**_**

 **I envision my main character (Angela Stewart) to look like a young Moira Kelly (google her if you don't know who I am talking about).**

 _"When you're lost.."  
_

 _"You're alone and you can't get back again.."_

 _"I'll find you, darling, and I'll bring you home..."_

 **CHAPTER ONE**

 **APPEARANCES**

I wanted to scream, kick, throw the biggest tantrum in the world. In just a few short days, I would arrive back in America, to be married to a man, I hardly knew. His name was Richard Dalton; heir to one of the largest textile companies of the east coast. He was also almost twenty years my senior, but my mother and father wanted my life to be secure. My parents were known as "new money", my father got rich about a decade ago because unbeknownst to him, his Father's brother, James, left him quite a bit of money in his will. Why he did, we didn't know, but it made my mother very happy.

I had turned 22 at the end of January, for my birthday I had finally received my engagement ring, and a letter asking for my hand in marriage. Of course if I had said no, Father would have probably punished me. So having to be "obedient", I replied that I would be "honored". The wedding would be held on Saturday, 27 April. A day that all girls dream about would be my day of misery.

Before coming to England in the summer of 1910, my father met Mr. Dalton through a close family friend. He had invested some interest in me after seeing my sister, Eve, and I at a picnic. Mr. Dalton was interested in courting me, suggesting I meet with him and my father. The moment I saw him, I couldn't help but say no. He was not my ideal choice of a beau, let alone a husband. He was fat, was starting to bald, and had the most arrogant disposition. My mother sat me down and explained to me the importance of not only having a secure future, but also being obedient. Obedient in what ways I asked? Cooking, cleaning, and running the household, but when my mother and I had that "talk", I wanted to vomit.

 _"Now Angela, you know when two people are to be married dear, consummation is required." Mother said with a slight sigh._

" _Mother, you married Father for love, did you not? Why can't I find my own suitor and live my own life?" I crossed my arms. I felt like I was being sold into slavery._

My mother would go on to say that because I was a woman, I had no say in this. My father "knew best". I could tell that she didn't like the idea of my having to marry this buffoon but I wouldn't go without food, or the fine luxuries in life.

" _Why then won't Eve marry him!" I exclaimed. "She is only three years younger than me."_

 _"Angela, I am sorry, he for some reason wants you, it is you who will become Angela Stewart-Dalton. Someday you will understand..."_

I couldn't understand how my father could practically sell me. A man who only lusted for me. A man who didn't care about at all. My father was no better than Mr. Dalton was. I wished I could runaway, do something to get away from what I felt to be the inevitable. Unfortunately, today, myself and the family would leave for America on what was called "The Grandest Ship in the World". Father happened to become friends with J. Bruce Ismay, who was in charge of the White Star Line. He was the exact same as Mr. Dalton, personality that is. We were given some of the best cabins aboard, as well as a beautiful sitting area that you could be outside and see the sunrise and sunset. It was truly paradise, but I couldn't bring myself up to truly enjoy it.

"Miss. Angela, where would you like your wedding dress?" My maid, Fran, held up the big white thing to me as I was busy putting out my hair and cosmetic items on my vanity.

I shuddered in disgust. "Throw it over"

She couldn't help but laugh. "You know I wish I could. You wouldn't be feeling that way about it if you were marrying someone who you did love."

Fran was more than a maid. She was my nurse and my confidant. She came to the family right before my father got rich. We immediately formed an attachment; Eve was not so keen about her at first but overtime she became close to her. Not nearly as close as us though.

"If it wasn't for the money, I would be able to marry someone I did love. I guess this the popular thing in society, a girl gets promised to a rich man, everyone is happy." I started to unwrap my dark hair from it's bun and began to massage my scalp. I usually did my own hair, but today my mother did it and I could tell she was not happy when she did it. It had been wrapped tight.

"Lunch is going to be served soon, do you want to change out of this dress and into something more comfortable?" Fran suggested.

I went into my wardrobe, and picked out a day dress of light purple. She happily obliged by unbuttoning the back of the tight dress I had on.

Mother walked in and softly closed the door behind her. She had this huge grin on her face.

"Oh Angela, guess who is going to be with us at lunch?" Her eyes lit up like Christmas morning.

I shook my head no. I really didn't care.

"Bruce Ismay of course, but the Captain and some of his senior officers. At _OUR_ table." She squealed.

I couldn't muster any excitement, all I could do was smile.

"Try to contain your excitement." Fran whispered in my ear. I had to bite on the inside of my cheek to stop myself from laughing.

"Angela, isn't that wonderful? We will be making a name for ourselves. Sure John Jacob Astor and his wife are said to be the wealthiest people onboard, but we will be next in line when it comes to fame around here. You mark my words!" She exclaimed as she took a seat on the sofa, stretching her legs out upon it.

"Mother, did it ever occur to you that I am not worried about that?" I winced as Fran was finishing with buttoning my day dress on.

She closed her eyes and sighed. "Yes, a new husband at the end of the month, so many people will be there, and of course we need to figure out a Priest!"

I went and sat at my vanity to put my hair up. "Mother, can we not have so many people there? I don't even know 200 people." As I braided my hair, I braided a lavender colored ribbon in, like a gypsy woman had shown me not too long ago.

"Oh dear, it would be our family and friends and Mr. Dalton's family and friends.

I finished the braid and moved it to rest upon my left shoulder. "His family lives in California!" I turned around. "Also he is so obnoxious he hardly has a friend in New York."

"You know dear it is not nice to speak of people in such a way." Mother said sternly.

I stood up and walked over to her. "It's true." I said then picked up my small silk bag.

"Well if you are ready, let's start for the dining room." She said as she grabbed my hand.

"Fran, please see that Eve is ready." Mother asked.

"Yes ma'am."

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"You see that girl over there?" Mother motioned to an auburn haired girl, who looked to be about my age.

"She is to be married to that charming man sitting beside her. She is seventeen." Mother waved modestly to an older woman, who looked to be the younger woman's mother.

I noted the girl's miserable expression and the way she looked at the man whenever he acknowledged her. I was sure it was safe to assume that she was in the same position as me. At least her fiancé was much better looking than the one I had to marry.

"I spoke with her mother earlier when we boarded. Mrs. DeWitt-Bukater and her daughter is Rose." I continued to look at her. For the first time since I became engaged, I could relate to someone. It was at that moment that I felt I could make a friend, and share commiserations.

Before Mother could utter another word about Rose's demise, I could hear Father talking and I turned around.

"Hello princess." Father kissed my cheek. A few men walked over to our table.

"Good afternoon!" Mother acknowledged to then uniformed men. The Captain, had two medals adorned on his uniform jacket. His hair was white and his facial hair was too. His eyes looked like he had seen nothing but the sea. A lot of it.

"Good afternoon, please be seated." The Captain said softly. As I took my seat, I looked up and couldn't help but notice the officer who was sitting across from me. His eyes happened to meet mine. His blue eyes, eyes the color of cornflowers, eyes that hadn't seen as much as the Captain's did. I could feel my heart suddenly race, I felt like I was going to perspire.

The room suddenly became empty. The only people who occupied was just he and I.

"Angela!" My mother hissed.

I felt a nudge to my arm. "Good afternoon." I could manage to say.

Mother laughed. "My poor daughter is already tired from her travels. This is my Angela."

"Hello young lady, I am Captain Smith. Pleasure to meet you." He nodded.

"Pleasure is all mine." I managed to smile.

I put my napkin on my lap.

"Well since you were so kind to introduce me to your family, I will be more than happy to introduce mine." Captain Smith chuckled. He started to the right of him.

"This is Second Officer Lightholler to the right of me, next is my Chief Officer, Henry Wilde, and last is First Officer Murdoch. He will be a Chief Officer in no time." The Skipper looked at him with pride.

Officer Murdoch looked back up at me and gave me the warmest grin I had ever received. His eyes pierced into me like a knife.

I could not eat. My stomach felt like it was doing somersaults.

"Mother, may I be excused? I need some air." I tried to sound desperate. She looked at me with worried eyes. "Do you want me to accompany you love?" She grabbed my hand.

I shook my head and looked over at the Captain. "Please excuse me." I said softly and got up and preceded to go outside to the promenade.

As I stepped outside, I could see the girl whose predicament was like mine, looking over at the ocean. I stepped slowly and quietly a few yards away and looked down at the diamond on my finger. I turned around and untied my small bag and placed the ring inside and quickly fastened the straps.

I hoped that my mother and father wouldn't notice it being gone.

 _**Credit: Song, "By Your Side" By Sade**_


	2. First Class Lunch

**_**I DO NOT OWN TITANIC 1997 OR ITS CHARACTERS, ONLY MY OWN**_**

 **CHAPTER TWO**

 **FIRST CLASS LUNCH**

I looked on at the blue ocean as I tried to get my bearings. I had felt like I was in a coma for my entire life and I was just now waking up. For the first time in my life, I thought and felt like I was in love with a man. A smile crept onto my face without my even having to try. I looked over at Rose, who was still looking out at the ocean and after a moment, I slowly walked over to her.

"You look like you could use a friend." I said softly.

She turned herself slightly to look at me, then back out to the water. "What makes you think that?"

"My mother and all her wisdom met yours earlier when we arrived on here. You must be in an engagement from hell too." I explained.

She whipped around with a gaping mouth. "How dare you be so presumptuous?" Her fists clenched at her sides. "Little does your mother know, my mother says you are just "new money". Nothing like us!"

"I don't want to be like anyone. Pardon me for being so concerned, I could look at you when my mother pointed you out at lunch. You looked miserable is all." I looked away and walked past her to a bench and sat down.

"I just put the prettiest ring in the world in my bag and a huge part of me wants to throw it into the water." I said as I looked down at my heels. After a moment I looked back up at her, this time her facial features softened.

"Why?" She leaned back on the railing. I really got her attention.

"Because it belongs to a man that doesn't really love me. A man who my father promised me to, for some odd reason." I explained.

She blinked her eyes and then came over to sit down. I instinctively moved over to give her space.

"I cannot decide for myself whom I want to court or marry." I managed to laugh. "I am 22 years old and new money like you say and I am being arranged to be married at the end of the month to a fat man with old money." I started to laugh even more. "I mean does it make sense that I have money and my parents are marrying me off to someone to secure my future?" I looked over at her and she looked at me with tears in her eyes.

I suddenly stopped laughing. "Oh, I am sorry Miss DeWitt-Bukater, I didn't mean to make you cry." I went into my bag and pulled out my handkerchief and offered it to her. She grinned lightly and took it from my hand.

"Thank you." She dabbed her eyes. "It's Rose actually, none of that formal bullshit." She looked down at the damp cloth. "At least your fiance isn't abusive and at least you don't have a mother who turns a blind eye."

I looked at her in disbelief. "That man is much more handsome than the one I am stuck with. Mine is about twenty years older than me and I have only met him twice. Yours is travelling with you and-"

"He is an absolute bastard." She snorted. She looked at me. "What's your name?" She rubbed her eye lightly.

"It's Angela Stewart." I muttered. I looked up and saw her fiance looking down upon us. I nudged Rose's arm lightly and she then looked up and once again her features turned cold.

"Sweet pea are you ill?" He asked; sounding so condescending.

She shook her head and got up from the bench and walked past him. He then looked back at me and followed her into dining room.

I sat there for another moment, relishing the smell of salt and the sun on my face. I closed my eyes and started to relax a little. I could hear the sounds of little children playing and for once I envied them and their lives. They didn't have to worry about marriages and money at their age. I could hear two little girls laughing and squealing.

"Miss Stewart." A male voice made me jump. I looked up and saw him, Officer Murdoch standing in front of me. I swallowed in nervousness and immediately felt my mouth go dry.

"Sorry Sir, I was wanting to get air." I managed to say.

He shook his head and motioned for me to sit down. "No, no, I wanted to check on you is all."

I smiled sheepishly and looked down at my hands. "Did my parents send you out here?"

"They were starting to get concerned, especially your Mum." He replied.

I stood up and stretched a little and walked back over to the railing. "You will have to forgive me, I am just trying to get used to the ship is all."

He came up to the railing and stuck on of his feet on the bottom rail. "For a First Class girl, you don't seem so happy." He said.

I looked up at him. "And that is supposed to make me happy?" I asked.

He shook is head. "Sorry, what I meant to say is that you have the best of the best here. A girl- I mean woman like you should be the epitome of bliss."

I looked up to the sky and then back at him in shock. "Just because I live in luxury and I wear jewels and all that doesn't mean I am happy Sir." I could now feel the bliss from seeing him again turn. "If you only knew..." I trailed off and then turned back around. "You just don't know." I whispered.

"I am sorry Miss." I heard him say softly behind me. I tried to hide my tears by wiping them quickly and then I turned back around. I could tell from his expression that he could see I had been crying.

"No, I'm sorry Sir. I didn't mean to unload all my-

"Shhhh.." He whispered as he took his handkerchief and gently wiped leftover tears off my cheeks. I felt so pathetic crying in front of not only a man, but a man that I happened to fancy.

After a brief moment, I realized that my parents were probably not happy with me being away for so long. "I better go back in and join the table." I said with a light smile.

He grinned and offered me his arm. A gesture I had never had the experience of accepting. I happily accepted as we walked our way back in. Mother was laughing hysterically about something while Father picked up an olive and popped it in his mouth. Eve looked like she was more than ready to leave.

"Ah Angie, you feeling any better?" Mother looked up at me. Officer Murdoch pulled my chair out for me and I thanked him as I sat down.

I faintly smiled at her as I could feel my father's eyes upon me. I ignored my worries and I looked over at the Captain.

"You will have to forgive Sir, hopefully tonight I will have earned my sea service medal." I said.

All the officers started to laugh. "Miss Stewart, you are fine. We understand." He replied with a wink. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as I took a sip of my water.

"So Miss Stewart, I am sure a beautiful lady like yourself has had many suitors?" Chief Officer Wilde asked as he too took a sip of his drink.

As I was about to answer, mother had to butt in. "Yes, she is actually betrothed to a gentleman in New York. Mr. Richard Dalton, he is heir to the Dalton Textile Company."

I could feel my cheeks redden as I looked up and noted Officer Murdoch's face. Not only his, but Chief Officer Wilde's.

"When is the wedding?" The Captain inquired.

I couldn't speak. Mother nudged me once again and I looked at her with a bit of rage. I looked over at father and saw him raise his eyebrow.

I sighed and looked at the Captain. "It is the 27th of this month Sir." I swallowed. I felt like I was in a torture chamber and I could tell that I would be reprimanded for my lack of enthusiasm later after lunch.

"You must show them your ring!" Mother exclaimed.

I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand and my stomach enter my throat. I fumbled the best I could under the table to try and untie the strings of my bag.

"Angie, you are so modest." Mother said then took a hold of my hand. When she noticed it was not on my finger, she gasped.

"Where is your ring?"

I wanted the floor to swallow me alive. Trying to think of an excuse under pressure was not a great ability of mine.

"I didn't want to lose it when I went outside so I put it in my silk bag." I explained. I really had done it now.

Eve looked at me and mouthed "What's wrong?" I shook my head slightly and looked over at mother who looked at me with daggers in her eyes. I looked down at my plate. To my dismay, it was lamb and mint sauce. Which I absolutely detested.


	3. An Unexpected Guest

**CH 3**

 **An Unexpected Guest**

My mother couldn't stop talking about the "maiden voyage ball" that was happening tonight. In a way I was looking forward to dressing up all nice but knowing my mother and father, they would scare off any man who would come near me. After coming back from lunch, I was scolded like a child for not wearing my ring and was expected to wear it at all times. I decided to abide my nagging mother and wear the damn thing but it wasn't going to be on me once we docked. For the first time in a long time, I felt a sense of happiness and the very thought of _him_ scared me and excited me. I couldn't understand why.

As I thumbed through the dresses I had, one had caught my eye. The dark blue taffeta felt so smooth in the palm of my hand. I immediately took the dress out and hung it over my vanity chair. It would give me a reason to wear the new shoes I got while in London.

"Oh my darling, you will be the envy of every girl tonight." Mother walked into my bedroom with a glass of wine.

I rolled my eyes as I opened my vanity drawer to pick out jewelry to wear. "The envy of every woman? I would think not. After all I would think you and especially father would forbid me from talking or dancing with the menfolk." I couldn't help but add my feelings. It felt liberating but also scary because my mother could be mercurial at times.

Mother walked over to me and sat her glass down. "I spoke with your father. You aren't married yet, and I feel that it would still be innocent if you were to share a dance or two with another man."

I dropped my pearl necklace and looked over at her and couldn't help but laugh out loud. "You are joking?"

Mother cocked her head to the side. "Why would I be joking?" She asked.

I closed my drawer and went over to my jewelry box and took out the engagement ring and held it to her. "This was the reason I was subjected to endless berating. I tried to explain my reasoning of not wearing it while I was getting some air but you insisted I wasn't wearing it for different reasons."

"Angela, you can't be giving off the wrong ideas to men here." She snapped. I turned my head and placed the ring on my right ring finger. "I will wear it only if I can on my right hand." I declared, slamming box lid.

Fran knocked on my door with fresh undergarments. I turned my head. "Must I wear those tonight? My monthly has come and the tightness of it will cause my cramps to become more severe."

"I will fetch you some brandy, that will ease some of the pain." Fran ran back into the main parlor.

Mother and I continued to stand there not knowing what to say.

"Angela love, we have had this conversation once too many times. You are to wear that ring, on the proper hand." She said softly.

I began tapping my foot out of frustration. "You know if father didn't have great influence on this, I would think you would be more compassionate and liberal. The only reason a girl is promised to an older man or any man for that matter without their feelings being considered is because of security." I began to walk around the room and pointed out various things. "As you can see we are secure. I am secure."

Fran brought me a glass of brandy which I gulped and slammed the glass on my vanity.

"My girl, save some for later, hear?" Fran said and lightly tapped on my shoulder.

It was then Mother's turn to roll her eyes. "I am going to see if your sister is close to getting ready." She turned and slammed the door behind her.

"Fran please don't make it too tight." I asked.

She nodded and handed me the dreaded thing and I stepped into it and raised it up. "Fran, if you were my mother, regardless of money or not, would you let me choose my own suitor?"

I could feel her start to fasten me up. "Absolutely. Love is a beautiful thing, I don't think this man deserves your heart."

"He's a fat bastard." I said softly.

Fran burst out into laughter. "You got that right." I smiled.

As Fran continued to secure my ties I couldn't help but bring up what was mainly on my mind.

"Fran, I can trust you to keep a secret, right?" Looking over my shoulder.

"Do you need to ask?" She sarcastically whispered.

I let out a breath and looked up. "Have you ever met someone, and that someone made your heart feel like it is going to fly out?"

Fran stopped. "We aren't talking about your fiancé are we?"

I turned around and shook my head. "I know I am speaking foolishly but his eyes are the color of sapphires, he has the kindest smile." I put my hands over my heart.

"He was at lunch, and I saw him sit across from me at the table, and our eyes locked. It made me feel like my head wasn't getting blood." I started to giggle. "I went out to get air, he came after me shortly after and we talked. For the first time in my life, I felt happy. Genuine happiness."

Fran's eyes reflected mine. She took me into her arms and held me tightly. "Please be careful love, you can't be displaying this in front of your mother and father." She whispered.

I held her just as tightly. "I know, but maybe this is a sign. A sign that there are better things for me out there."

She let go of me and cupped my chin. "There are, and you deserve every good thing there is."

"Let's get this dress on." Her voice cracked. I couldn't help but feel a lump in my throat.

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Eve and I walked into the ball room, both in awe as we saw many of the First Class passengers in their finest. Mother took our hands in hers and led us to large table that was starting to fill. The Dewitt-Bukaters and Mr. Hockley were seated. Rose fidgeted with her earring as her mother was busy speaking with another woman and Mr. Hockley lit a cigarette. I took my seat adjacent from Mr. Hockley and Eve sat beside me. Eve's laced dress brushed up against mine as she took her seat.

"What did mother have to say about you not wearing your ring?" She whispered.

I rolled my eyes. "You would think I was committing murder." I whispered back. Eve covered her mouth with her gloved hand to stop herself from laughing out loud.

"Girls, look sharp, Mr. Astor and his wife are here, and they are going to sit with us." Mother bent over and whispered between us.

"Who is he?" Eve asked. I bit my lip because I knew she was being smart. Sometimes she would make me laugh so hard I would almost piss on myself.

"He is a very proper gentleman and the wealthiest man here." Mother said sharply.

I looked away and caught Rose's eye. She looked rather forlorn and troubled. Nevertheless, she was beautiful in her red and black gown; I was green with envy.

I gave her a warm smile and she in turn, could only muster a half smile in response.

As the Astors made their way to the table, I noticed how young Mr. Astor's wife looked. She was also with child; I was disgusted.

My father made his way around and grabbed the seat on the right side of me. "Isn't this wonderful Angie?" He asked me as he took a sip of his wine.

"I feel out of place." I replied. I looked over at Eve and Mother, Eve picked up her fork and started playing with it. Mother suddenly took the fork from her and gave her a stern look.

"Oh dear, just think, you will be amongst the elite." Father stated. "Parties, dances, so many social gatherings."

I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my wine. "You know life is more than that." I quipped. Just as I was about to add another one of my opinions, I saw him, _HIM._ He walked in with the Captain, another officer I didn't recognize, and _a woman._ The woman had her arm intertwined with his. I looked at her as her earrings sparkled in the light, her hair was up and pinned at the crown, and she sported a modest looking ring on her finger. I prayed that she wasn't with William Murdoch.

"Good evening everyone." The Captain greeted us. We naturally nodded in acknowledgement. "I want to introduce Officer Murdoch and his fiancée, Ada and Officer Moody."

Something inside me snapped and I felt like my heart was going to burst. He caught my eye and gave me another of his warm smiles. I couldn't help but not smile back as I struggled like crazy to fight back tears.

I looked up as I saw the waiter come around with caviar. I tried my hardest to look normal on the outside, hoping that the dinner would not take long.

"So Officer Murdoch, how long have you been engaged?" Mother asked. I closed my eyes in angst.

"A little over a year now." He replied. I couldn't help but notice that he didn't sound so cheerful about it.

Mother's mouth dropped. "You better hurry up and marry this girl!" She laughed. I couldn't help but roll my eyes and look away.

"Well I am not his priority at the moment." Ada laughed. Her laugh sounded so fake. "I have been so close to ending it due to the frustration of waiting to agree on a date, William is always at sea."

I looked back over at William, who wasn't even paying that much attention to her and instead was busy talking to the younger looking officer.

"Well a sea officer's first love is the sea." I heard myself speak. I immediately felt my face turn red. William and the Captain turned their attention to me and William grinned widely at me. Ada's smile faded. "And how would you know?"

I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me. "Isn't obvious? He is always at sea." I managed to say. I could hear some of the dinner guests laughing. I knew in my heart that I would get scolded afterwards. A part of me didn't care.

William's eyes and mine were once again locked, this time it was more intense than earlier in the day.


	4. Dances and Confessions

**CHAPTER FOUR**

 **Dances and Confessions**

An hour had passed; I wanted it to be over and my retire to my bed and cry my eyes out. The first man I had ever fallen in love with was engaged and there was nothing I could say or do to change it. Ada looked so sophisticated and elegant; not my ideal vision of a sea officer's wife. She was too high maintenance and pristine. I couldn't help but admit that I was not only hurt, but jealous. As I continued to do all I could to not burst out into tears, William once again caught my eye and his face immediately became sullen. I suddenly looked away to try and hide my red face. He must've known how emotional I looked and was.

I caught a side glance from my sister Eve from the corner of my eye. "Angie, the man across from us has been staring at you throughout dinner." She whispered . I took a sip of my champagne. "I know." I muttered as I watched his fiancee pick at her food while resting her head in the palm of her hand. My trying to understand what he found in her was very hard; the constant glasses of champagne was easing my nerves quite a bit. I did know that I would feel forlorn in the morning.

I watched Rose get up from seat and walk slowly away from the table with a rather troubling look on her face. I couldn't help but turn my head and watch her get further away as a steward opened the door for her. I turned back around and saw that some of the men were getting up, including father.

"Girls, please mind your manners while the other gentlemen and I are in the smoking room." Father kissed Eve's cheek and then mine. I couldn't help but stiffen up. This man had the nerve to show such platitude towards me? I forced a smile in return.

Captain Smith in turn got up and turned to Officer Murdoch and Officer Moody; he whispered something into Moody's ear. After a moment Moody got up.

"Ladies, thank you for having my men and myself here for dinner. I am afraid that there is something that needs tending to." The Captain smiled and nodded at Moody. The both of them made their leave. The only male at the table was William and he looked over at Ada and she rolled her eyes about something. He shook his head and then got up, my eyes grew as I watched him walk over to my side of the table.

"Would you like to dance?" He asked me.

I couldn't help but let out a gasp. I could feel a sensation run up my spine and heat trickle into my neck. I licked my lips and cocked my head to peek over at Ada. She was talking with the Countess of Rothes and didn't notice us.

"Your fiancée wouldn't mind?" I whispered.

He shook his head no and stuck his hand out for mine. I swallowed and grasped his hand, his warm and soft hand. We walked hand in hand over to a small area where a couple of other couples were happily twirling and prancing around. My heart raced and it felt wonderful.

I licked my lips out of nerves once more. "Officer Murdoch I am afraid I am not good at this."

He smiled. "Neither am I. I just wanted to talk to you." I got the hint and wrapped my arm around his neck and placed some distance between us. I knew Mother would be watching and of course Ada.

We started to make circles slowly. "I can look at you and see that something is wrong." He said tenderly. I bit my lip and tried to think of something else to say besides the obvious.

"Well it is complicated Officer Murdoch."

"It's William and you look just as upset as you did at lunch." He noted.

I closed my eyes and involuntarily let a tear fall. " _How pathetic"._ I thought to myself. "I am not engaged out of love." I muttered. "My mother and father want to practically be rid of me it feels like. This...this buffoon I am engaged to doesn't care about me at all. Just some rich old man."

We stopped our movements. "Have you ever wanted so bad to be your own person?" I asked. "Just not have a care in the world and be happy no matter your social status?"

He looked down at me at I up at him. I felt him take a hold of my hand once more and squeeze it.

"You and I have very similar lives you know." He said. I looked up at him, "How?" I asked. "You can have anyone you want, any woman would practically swoon if they had someone like you." My hands immediately flew to my face as I covered myself in shame.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." I felt like I had really done it now.

"No no, you needn't worry Angela." He said softly. My ear prickled as I heard him say my name. It was like music. "Ada isn't the person I thought she would be." He breathed.

"She cares about appearances and fashion. I know I sound so awful, forgive me." He looked over at the table then back at me. "She isn't someone who possesses compassion and depth." He continued.

This man may have been just a sea officer to many people, especially those in this big room, but to me, he was so deep. He had feelings and thoughts, he was a human.

I couldn't help but smile sheepishly at him. I wasn't smiling at him for what he was saying about his betrothed mind you, but at his heart.

"It could be worse. At least she is attractive and comes from money."

We continued dancing, slowly. His smelled and looked so nice, I could help but part my mouth and let out a sigh.

"My family wanted to see me married off a long time ago. We have been engaged for going on four years now."

My eyes bulged in surprise. I looked up at him. "What in the world?"

"I know it is awful." He said softly.

The music ended. I casually took a piece of my hair and tucked it behind my ear.

"Thank you for the dance William." I smiled sweetly. I never felt so delightful but yet so awkward. This man wasn't in love with the woman whom I watched from the corner of my eye look at us.

"I will see you around Angela Stewart." He took my hand and kissed the top delicately. My cheeks felt hot as I relished in the feel of his mouth of me.

We looked into each other's eyes for a moment before he offered me his arm back to the table. We walked softly towards our group; Eve smiled ear to ear and winked at me. I couldn't help but giggle, causing Ada's eyes to narrow.

"I need to retire for the night. We will be near Ireland in the daytime." William said to Ada. She looked up at him with a hostile look in her eye and slowly rose up from her seat.

"I guess your dance tired you out, no?" She asked with subtle sarcasm. I couldn't help but feel tension in my shoulders.

Will padded her shoulder lightly and took her hand. Before they turned away he gave me one last look. I swallowed and forced a smile. I wanted to crawl into a hole.

I looked over at Mother and Eve. "I suppose it is getting late. I am going to turn in." I said almost in a whisper. As I walked away, I started to shift my thoughts to Rose. Her face before leaving the ball room was grim and I hoped that she was alright.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"So how was the ball?" Fran helped me out of my dress. The feeling of relief of being out of my undergarments was wonderful.

"It was alright if you like boring people."

Fran giggled. "I am sure it wasn't that bad." She cleared her throat. "So um did you see a certain man?"

I swallowed. "Yes." I put my arms through the sleeves of my night gown. "He brought his fiancee."

"No!" Fran gasped then slumped down onto my sofa.

I nodded my head. "They have been engaged for four years now." I started brushing my hair.

Her eyes rounded. "What is the hold up?"

I took a seat beside her. "He isn't in love with her. His family practically pushed him into getting with her. He asked me to dance with him." I noted the delight on her face. "He is a sailor and an officer, she doesn't understand his way of life. She seemed so full of herself compared to his humbleness." I immediately covered my mouth. "Forgive me."

"You are only speaking the truth. He said it, so why feel bad?"

"Fran, I cannot have him!" I exclaimed. "He is probably going to marry him regardless and I am stuck with Mr. Dalton." I closed my eyes. "My family would NEVER let me be with William Murdoch." I whispered.

"Well you have a heart, follow it Angie." She padded my knee. "You do not have to marry that awful man."

I wiped my eye. "It isn't that easy."

As we sat in silence for a moment, Eve came rushing through my door, causing us to jump.

"It's Rose, something happened!" Eve exclaimed.


	5. Trapped

**CHAPTER FIVE**

 **TRAPPED**

The look on Eve's face scared me; the last time I has seen such a look was when she was going to be punished for pushing a girl into a lake at school. I grabbed my night robe and wrapped it around me, making a knot.

"Whatever is the matter with Rose?" Fran asked frantically.

Eve swallowed. "She was pinned down on the deck by a third class passenger." She motioned for me to follow; I inadvertently burst out into laughter. "What?"

"How can you laugh at something like that?" Eve turned serious. I hesitated for a moment then followed her out into the passageway. I turned my head slightly to Fran. "I will be back with a fool report of this tomfoolery!" I said sarcastically. I shut my door behind me.

Eve took my hand and started to guide us down the corridor. "How can you joke about something so serious Angie?"

"Did you even see what happened? What did Mother ever tell you about believing gossip?" I asked. As we turned the corner, we were stopped by a ship's officer and a steward.

I took a second, this time good look at the officer; it was Chief Officer Wilde, the other officer at lunch with us earlier in the day. He smiled at me and I suddenly looked down and tightened the cord on my robe a little more. His smile gave me the chills for some reason.

"Sir, excuse us." Eve then guided us around the two men, before we were stopped again by the younger looking steward. "Ladies, please don't trouble yourselves, everything is alright. It is very cold tonight and we wouldn't want you to catch cold." His voice was very soft.

"That was what I was saying to this here Miss. Noseybody." I notioned to Eve. "Maybe she will listen to you." I said with a slight laugh.

He in turn laughed. "Well it has caused quite a stir so please don't blame her for being curious." The steward smiled down at Eve. I couldn't help but notice her smiling back at the man. He was a baby-faced man with brown eyes and auburn hair. He looked to be about Eve's age, maybe a year or so older.

"Gentlemen, Miss. Dewitt-Bukater is being taken to the infirmary." A familiar voice announced from behind us. I looked up and tried my hardest to subdue a gasp. I felt my face turn crimson, my insides turned into lava. I was practically naked with my hair down and lounging robe on.

"Good evening Miss Stewart." William said gently. I swallowed and nodded. "Evening Sir." I squeaked. Instantaneously, Eve snickered at my nervousness. I in turn nudged her in the ribs. While looking up at William's sweet face.

I watched as the younger steward grinned at me in humor.

"She isn't hurt too bad is she?" Eve asked as she rubbed her side. I wanted to kill her, I immediately cut in."This isn't any of our concern, we best make our way back to our rooms like the steward here suggested." I took Eve's hand...

"It is perfectly alright, she is a friend of yours is she not?" William asked. I opened my mouth to answer. "She is like a bosom friend." Eve answered, shaking her head rapidly while smiling in girlish glee.

I closed my eyes in annoyance. "We only met her today." I sighed. "You will have to excuse my little sister's little falsehood, however friend or not, I do wish she is safe and warm. I am sure she is being seen as a precaution." I relaxed a little.

Chief Officer Wilde nodded in agreement. "That is exactly the reason Miss Spencer."

After an awkward silence. One of the men spoke up. "I am going to call it a night gentlemen." Chief Officer Wilde removed his cover. "Mr. Murdoch, before you retire for the night, please make sure our newest quartermaster is with Quartermaster James." He walked off down the passageway.

"Aye Sir." William spoke then look back at me. "I best be going, Mr. Taylor, please make sure these ladies' accommodations are satisfactory please."

The steward nodded. "Yes Sir." William then took my hand and kissed the top. "Good night Miss. Stewart." His blue eyes pierced into mine.

"Good night William." I whispered as he stroked the top my hand with his thumb. My mouth started to grow dry. He gave me a final nod and proceeded past me, his scent stayed behind.

"He is so handsome." I heard Eve say, she went to rest her head on the wall. Her face was so cute, I wanted to laugh. I knew she was talking about the steward, Mr. Taylor. He was very handsome, this ship had many handsome men. My heart however cried out for one.

"I think he likes you too." I said. "Do you think in the next few days, we will fall in love and possibly run away together when we get to New York?" She asked, fidgeting with her necklace.

My eyes rounded and I moved over in front of her. "You are dreaming, no way Mother and Father are going to let you run away with a steward. Father would really be angry."

"Oh and I suppose they will let you break the engagement with Mr. Dalton and let you go riding off into the sunset with Officer Murdoch?" She crossed her arms.

"SHHHHH! You are always so loud." I whispered. "He too is engaged, but he isn't happy with her." I felt a pang of sadness.

Eve nodded. "I can tell how he bid you good night. But again, his fiancée is here with him, it would be different if she wasn't." She had a good point, if Ada wasn't on board, it would be easier to get closer to him, but it was close to impossible. I looked down at the floor for a moment. I had to think with my mind instead of heart.

"I could distance myself. It is the only logical thing to do." I said softly and began to pick at a peeling piece of paint. "I cannot believe I am saying this." I closed my eyes. "I need to stay away from him."

There was a brief silence. I hated the position I was in and unfortunately I knew I would see the man again between now and the day we get off the ship.

"This is supposed to be the largest ship in the world, that would be easy to do." Eve spoke up.

I rolled my eyes. "Nothing you want ever comes easy."

"Girls." I heard Mother whisper to us. "Eve turned around and I looked up, Mother had her night robe on and her hair was down. She had a look on her face that we dared not ignore.

"What are you doing here with your nightclothes on?" She asked sharply as we approached our rooms.

"I needed air." I lied.

"Are you ill?" Mother asked as she put her hand on my forehead.

"Please stop treating me like a child." I said, moving her hand away. I slumped down on the couch.

"What has you so upset?" Mother asked. I could tell in her voice that she was irritated now. I took a deep breath. "Nothing, just tired from the day." I lied.

"A glass of wine will help." Mother suggested.

I opened my eyes; wine would definitely not help me in this situation. I was depressed, that was what it felt like and I didn't want to make matters worse by getting drunk. I wanted to drown my sorrows and momentarily forget the situation I was in.

"I think we have all had a long day." Father said as he stood next to me. He sounded so condescending.

"I am just happy that Rose is alright. Poor girl." Mother said as she brought me a glass of wine and sat it in front of me. I wasn't going to touch it.

"What exactly happened?" Eve asked. I wanted to throw one of the pillows at her for being so forward.

Mother took a sip of her wine. "She was apparently trying to look at the propeller blades and she almost fell overboard." Eve gasped. I crossed my arms.

"She was saved by a young boy from Third Class. Mrs. Duwitt-Bukater said that she was found lying on the deck with the boy on top of her, with her dress up, found by some deck crewmen." Mother continued.

I looked over at Eve whose face turned red, from embarrassment I suppose. For some reason, I wasn't believing the explanation.

"Why would a First Class girl have any interest of the mechanics of ships?" I asked.

Mother looked me sharply in the eyes. "What are you suggesting?"

I swallowed and shrugged my shoulders. "Why would any girl want to see something like that?" I asked.

"Well maybe she was curious." Mother answered. There was no way that anyone would believe something so far-fetched. I decided not to dig any further into it.

"I hope she is not hurt." I whispered. Father walked over towards Mother. Slipping his arm around her waist. "I think I am going to turn in." He said then kissed her cheek.

"I am not far behind you dear." She smiled and then looked back over at Eve and I. "You girls need some rest. Breakfast is in the morning, if we see Rose and her fiancé, please do not mention this." She asked then walked over to us. "Good night, I love you." She said as she kissed us both on the cheek. After closing the door behind her, Eve was on her feet.

"What was _THAT_ about?" She exclaimed.

"It's nothing, go to your own room." I said. I grabbed the glass and took a long sip of the red wine.

"It is certainly something to have Mother look so cross when you were asking about Rose."

I licked my lips. I didn't want to say anything out of fear of being seen as a hypocrite and starting rumors.

"It was an innocent question, at least that is what I thought. I didn't know Mother would get upset by it." I got up and proceeded to take my robe off, throwing it over the bed.

"You aren't telling me the truth, I can see it you know-"

"Eve I think she was wanting to kill herself." I turned around and grabbed her arms. She was driving me crazy.

Her head cocked to the side, looking confused. "What?"

"You didn't talk to her earlier like I did." I swallowed. "Whatever you do, please don't mention this because I will deny saying anything." I looked her in the eyes, without blinking once. She nodded her head.

"Her fiancé is an ass, he treats her poorly, her mother doesn't care because of how rich he is. Mr. Hockley is worse than I imagined."

Eve blinked.

"This is probably what I am going to have to put up with. I don't want to, and it isn't just about looks either. I hardly know Mr. Dalton, and the fact that I will have to lay with that man, the thought of it kills me." I said in disgust.

"But he has money..."

I balled up my fists. "That is NOT the point!" I exclaimed. After a moment I closed my eyes and hopped onto the bed.

"Mr. Dalton doesn't love me, I don't love him. Mr. Hockley doesn't love Rose, she is a possession. That is all she is to him, that is what I will ever be to Mr. Dalton. We are not in love with "our" men." I explained.

I felt my eyes stinging, threatening to spill tears. "It is so hard to explain this to someone without getting so upset. My theory is she feels trapped, and soon, I will be trapped. I can only get myself out of it if I run away and not look back. I have one advantage, and that is Mr. Dalton is not here with me." I said.

After a moment, the moments of the day had my eyelids feeling heavy.

"It's late, it is best we get to sleep." I whispered.

Eve nodded and hopped off the bed. "Promise though you won't do something like what Rose did." She seemed to understand what I was explaining.

I nodded and gave her a hug goodnight. I had a plan, a plan that I would have to figure out in a few days.


	6. Confusion and Feelings

**To my faithful && PATIENT readers; I appreciate all the reviews and nice words thus far. I am trying like crazy to spit out more chapters for all three of my fan fiction stories. Additionally, I do want to make some changes so that I can please everyone. The month of May should give me time for that, however I will be deploying in June for 4-6 months. I will have computer access but only for work. Considering the workload and the time away from land I will have however, you will see longer gaps between chapters for each story between June and November. **

**I will be writing chapters (but studying for my qualifications mostly) during my off hours but I will not be able to upload them until I hit port (some port visits can be anywhere from every two weeks to once a month). Thank you so much for your understanding. Peace && Love. **

_****Obligatory notice of non-copyright infringement, I only own my own characters****_

 _ ****This chapter changes to third person****_

 **CHAPTER SIX**

 **CONFUSION AND FEELINGS**

"What a night." Officer Lightholler puffed on his cigarette. He leaned on the railing with his foot resting on the bar.

"Hmm." Officer Murdoch nodded. He too had his foot resting on the railing. Staring absently out into the darkness.

"What kind of business did that girl have to be looking at the propellers?" Lightholler laughed." I don't know if I ever heard of such an absurd lie." He turned his head over to the First Officer. His eyes still stared straight out. Lightholler playfully waved his hand in front of Murdoch's face.

He blinked in response and snapped his head in annoyance. "What?" As fond as we was of the friendship that was shared between them for going on ten years, sometimes he found the Second Officer's antics asinine.

"You alright mate?" Charles Lightholler flicked his cigarette into the water. "You have been acting distracted all evening."

Murdoch shrugged. "Very crazy evening. You know with the Bukater girl."

Charles nodded. "So umm.." He contemplated before finishing what he has wanted to say. He continued looking at his friend. "Sylvia mentioned to me the most peculiar thing." He rubbed his chin. "Ada has been concerned."

He struggled to continue as he noticed how red Murdoch's face started to grow. "You keep pushing the wedding date. It was supposed to be last October, is everything alright?"

Will waved his hand. "Come on….Charles we had all of those sea trials, then Bruce Ismay and all his infinite wisdom just had to keep putting the maiden voyage off until he felt that his crew was truly qualified and ready." He turned his back to Charles to take a breath.

"Did I hit a sore spot?" Charles asked. Murdoch whipped back around. "No, but sometimes that wife of yours and my _fiancee_ make shit up just out of boredom."

Lightholler could notice how uncomfortable his friend's body language was. He knew something else was brewing but dared not to press it further. The tone of his voice when he said "fiancee" made the mystery much deeper to the Second Officer.

He couldn't help it.

"So, are you two going to have a late spring wedding? The summer solstice would be really nice."

William Murdoch rolled his eyes. "Whatever Ada wants." He managed to give a weak grin and started walking back towards the bridge.

"Will, you are very excited about this, contain yourself." Lights said sarcastically. "You are talking like the pair of you are choosing a paint scheme for a common room, not deciding on a wedding day."

Murdoch tried to ignore him as he walked into the wheelhouse to look at the log. He started to have a headache brew.

"Seaman Francis do you have a reading of the water temperature?" Murdoch asked the deck seaman on duty.

"Thirty-seven degrees Fahrenheit Sir." Murdoch nodded in satisfaction and quickly scribbled it into the log. After handing it back to Seaman Francis, went back onto the bridge.

"Will, you and Ada have been engaged for almost six years, and it seems like with every passing month, you act like she's a ball and chain."

Will had enough. "Please stop, alright." He was stern. "Right now I have a lot on my mind. With Wilde being promoted to the one position I have been eying on for almost two years, it has me frustrated. I will give over it though." He nodded. "It will take some time but eventually I will."

"And Yes, Ada wanted to accompany me, even though we would be coming back, she threw a fit." Murdoch sighed. "

Charles couldn't help but let out a laugh. "Ada did not actually throw a fit. She wants to be with her man. See why he loves the sea so much."

Will nodded once more and then swallowed. "My family is pushing me to marry this woman who is brilliant and wonderful, but Lights, look at me and tell me that I am not the marrying type."

They were both interrupted by Officer Moody who had tea for the two senior officers. "Tea gentlemen?" He held up the two saucers; both men happily grabbed their cups."

"Thank you." Will muttered and took a sip of steaming cup. He loved the sensation the hot liquid going down his throat. The cold Atlantic air was not kind.

As soon as Moody got far away enough, Lights continued on with their conversation.

"I don't think it's a question of you wanting to marry, I just don't think you want it to be Ada to fill that role as wife." Lightholler swallowed. "Sylvia also told me that Ada thinks you are smitten with a First Class girl."

Will's eyes suddenly bulged and he nearly dropped his teacup. "Beg pardon?" He asked astonishingly.

Lights shrugged his shoulders. "I am only repeating what I was told. Something about you asking this girl to dance with you and looking all chum-

"Bloody hell Lights it was a dance, at a ball. You would think I committed some crime. I asked Ada if she wanted to dance and she emphatically refused. Also, she was busily talking and seemed to have a good time. I would have not been alarmed if another man danced with her. "

His tea grew cold and he chucked the remaining amounts over the sides. "You are just as bad as them." He sneered and walked off. Lights looked on and smiled. " _I hope he doesn't marry that stuffy woman."_ He thought to himself.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Ada Banks couldn't sleep. She knew her fiancé would be getting off of watch soon and he would be in his quarters. She was upset that she couldn't share a room like her married friend, Sylvia Lightholler did, but she wasn't married and that part she understood.

The part that upset her so was that his quarters was in the forward part of the ship, she was close to the midline and starboard side. She turned her lamp on and sat up; this was her first voyage on a ship, what should have been a happy and fun occasion, was marred with doubt and worry.

As she reached across her bed to pick her robe up, her humble engagement ring got caught in the fabric of her robe. She looked at the tiny diamond and smiled sadly to herself. If she had it her way, she would have been Mrs. William Murdoch and had at least two children by now. William would have retired early and settled down. Ada would be a headmistress of one of the most prestigious women's colleges in Scotland.

She sighed as she realized that fantasy would possibly never to come to fruition. As she tied the strap of her robe, she went over to her wash basin and poured some water into the bowl. She took a hair ribbon and pulled back her long black tresses. She took the bar of lavender soap and lathered it into her slender hands.

As she began to scrub her face, there was a knock on the door. She quickly rinsed her face and dried it off with a towel. As she walked towards the door, she stubbed her toe on the side of the bed post.

Squeaking in pain, she opened the door, where Will was on the other side. He immediately noted the discomfort on her face.

"What's the matter love?" He asked as he walked in, removing his cover.

She sat on the edge of her bed and rubbed the red toe. "Oh trying to injure myself. Off watch?"

He nodded and placed his cover on the bed. "I wanted to see if you wanted to go to breakfast. We can do it in the mess or in the Second Class hall." He reached over and took her hand.

"Let me get dressed first." She quipped. After a moment, she became bold. "Will, are we alright?"

This took Will off guard. "Ada, that is a silly question." He looked over at her and noticed she was serious.

"We have so many things to talk about and I am afraid of where to start." She added. "You were not exactly upset when White Star Line told you that we were to be separate on here." She got up and walked over to her wardrobe and picked out dress to wear for the day.

"Darling, we are not married, it would not be appropriate to be taking such liberties." He said and adjusted to make himself more comfortable.

Ada rolled her eyes and walked up behind her changing screen. "Will, we were supposed to marry back on October 17th, it is now April of 1912. What is scaring you so?" She asked as she put her slip garters on.

"I want to earn more money, we could use it, for a growing family." He said gently.

Ada continued on getting dressed. " _No, I think it is something else…."_ She thought to herself.


	7. Deck Chair Talk

_****Obligatory notice of non-copyright infringement: I only own my own characters****_

 _ ****This chapter goes back to Angela's POV****_

 **CHAPTER SEVEN**

 **DECK CHAIR TALK**

After a rather quiet and uneventful breakfast, Rose had asked to me if I wanted to accompany her, and her alone around the ship. Not letting the opportunity go to waste, I accepted. Rose seemed more relaxed and much more sociable; she wore a beautiful pale yellow dress, her red locks were pulled back.

I grabbed my matching shawl and we excused ourselves from the table. I couldn't wait to finally have some lady talk with someone other than my sister, and also someone who was in the same predicament as I was. As we stepped out onto the promenade, I missed the last step on the platform and almost fell. We both burst into laughter as I collided into the side of Rose. It was probably the first time we had laughed since being onboard the ship.

"Nice poise there." Rose laughed. I rolled my eyes and nudged her; she yelped in response. We walked over to an area to lounge and sat down, stretching our legs out. The sun warmed our area of the ship; I removed my matching sage colored shawl and folded it to put under my head.

"So about last night, what in the world would possess you to look at the ship's propeller?" I bit my lip, I knew I was being too forward. I looked over at her and could tell that she wanted to talk but yet she had difficulty finding the right words.

She swallowed. "Angela, we are starting to become friends in a way." She looked over at me. I nodded. "Well we are in a similar situation with our _lovely_ engagements and all."

"We are pretty much all that we have on this ship, as companions. I mean don't get me wrong, you have your sister." She rubbed the side of her head.

"Eve still has some growing up to do, I mean granted I have my friends back home and all."

"Well, it is probably going to come up sooner or later." She sighed. "Cal and I are completely two different people. My mother is pushing me to marry him to be financially secure, and he is pushing me away by being so controlling and the more I think about becoming his wife and having to obey his every wish, the more constricted I feel." She closed her eyes. "I wanted to jump off the back of this ship last night Angela. I could hear the black ocean calling my name, as if it was some melancholy lullaby."

I was stunned that she could admit something so personal. I dared not interrupt her.

"My father left us without anything. So, it is up to me to keep mother and I afloat. The more I live with it though, the more I start to adapt. I don't know if I should be happy that I can accept it or sad."

I looked down. "I don't know what to say, I am in a similar situation, only that my family has money but yet I have to marry a complete stranger myself. I cannot wear the engagement ring without wanting to throw it. My father doesn't give a damn about my feelings." I blushed. Using obscenities was frowned upon in our society but with Rose I felt like I could be myself.

"What are we to do? We are women Angie; no say for ourselves, no right to decide on what we want to do." She sat up. "I have always wanted to be an actress, you know on the stage." She smiled. "My name on a sign, playing someone from Shakespeare with no care in the world. The sound of applause resonating in my ears."

Her ambitions were beautiful compared to mine; I wanted to be a nurse or maybe even a doctor. I could not help but feel anguish in my heart as I started to think of myself a few years from now: I would be stuck in a loveless marriage, as a hapless housewife. Children running around while my _husband_ was working or even tending to a mistress. My life would be doomed before the age of twenty-five.

"I could run away when we got to New York." She quipped. "I change my name, possible move out west somewhere. I love the name Katherine." Rose laid back again.

"How could you do that with no money?" I asked.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Anything is possible."

As I was about to say something else, I caught a glimpse of a few, looked about three officers walking our way. I slowly sat up and tried to focus on them. My heart felt it was going to burst as I noticed William smile at one of the other officers. As they came closer to our deck I recognized Officer Lightholler but the other I could not.

Rose saw my gawking and turned her head towards the direction I was looking. She looked back over at me with a raised eyebrow. I licked my lips in nervousness as Will's eyes locked with mine. His beautiful eyes sparkled like the sun hitting the ocean water.

The two other officers walked ahead of him and he came over to us. "Good day ladies." He tipped his hat. My heart skipped a beat.

"Good day Will." I smiled. Rose gave me a rather curious look from the corner of my eye.

As I attempted to get up from my chair, my dress got caught. Causing me once again to slip to one side. Rose covered her mouth and Will caught me, my face colliding into his chest….

He smelled of ocean air and a light cologne. I wanted to make a new home in his chest.

"Miss Stewart, are you alright?" He asked, taking my hands. I swiftly moved down to the deck floor and pull the bottom of my dress out from chair. I wanted to die.

"Yes, I am so sorry, my dress got caught." I quickly started to straighten out the skirt and I looked back up at him, his face reflecting that of concern.

"That is the second time today Sir." Rose laughed behind him. I glanced over at her and glared. Her face was as red as mine.

He turned his attention to her. "How are you today Miss? I hope no harm was done after last night."

Her smile slowly faded. "Yes, all is well. Thank you for your concern."

He nodded in satisfaction and turned back to me. "You look very nice today Angela." He said softly. "I see you are without your sister." I laughed nervously. "Yes, it is just us this morning." To say that my stomach wasn't fluttering would be a lie. Rose was in the background observing us, which was not helping with my nerves.

"Don't you ever get a break?" I tried to divert the conversation to something more neutral. He shifted his gaze over to the water. "I have been doing this since I was sixteen years old. When you love something so much, it doesn't feel like actual work." I walked over to the ledge unknowingly and looked down into what seemed to be a bottomless lagoon of blue. Wisps of hair started to get into my eyes from the sea breeze.

"Something on your mind?" Will asked as he walked up to the ledge. I could see why he loved the sea so much; its vivid blue was so majestic, the way the colors changed whenever the waves crashed. I looked so beautiful in the day, but I couldn't imagine how dark and cold it was in the night. I turned my head to look at Rose, who was still lying on her deck chair, her eyes shut and the sun hitting her face. I could never go through the same fate as her. I didn't want to be driven so mad that I would end up facing death on the back of a ship.

I looked up at Will and grinned. "I understand it so perfectly now." I stepped away from the ledge. "I am sure you have more important things than small talk."

"No, I mean I have another hour or so before I rest. Then I have my next shift later this evening." He pulled out his pocket watch and nodded.

"What does your fiancee do while you are attending to your duties?" I couldn't help but ask. Will's face turned a little red at my question. He cleared his throat. "One of my fellow officers, his wife came with us as well. They keep each other company." He stuck his hands behind his back. I could tell he was uncomfortable.

"Sir, you are needed by the Skipper." A voice yelled from a distance. Will looked over in the direction of one of his other officers.

"Duty calls." He sighed. I couldn't help but nod and grin in agreement. "Have a good day." I bade and watched him walk past me towards the opposite end of the ship. As I watched him catch up with the other officer, I knew it was in my best interest to avoid him. This was only a short trip, there would be no time to form some sort of silly romance. Also, the man had a fiancé, who despite her disposition and her opinions of Will's career, _IS_ engaged to be married to the man. If I was in love with a man, I would not want him to go behind my back. Finally, I would never see him again after this voyage; no way I would ever run into him again. Even if he was a single man, we both had different paths in life.

I finally resorted back to my deck chair; stretching my legs out like before, my mind still brewing. "Well that seemed cozy." Rose said condescendingly. I adjusted my legs. "He is very nice. Salt of the earth." I added.

"I am not disputing that, just the way you were dancing the other night. He asked you, not your sister, not me, but _you._ " Rose turned her form towards me and rested her head on her hand. "I saw the way your eyes lit up when he approached us. It was much different than how I have seen you." She grinned genuinely.

I looked down at my nails, wanting so badly to bite them. I had quit the nasty habit months ago after I developed an infection. The temptation was hard, especially at this given moment. "Don't jump to conclusions of what could be. He is engaged and I am engaged. His fiancé his on this ship, and it would never work if any way."

"What makes you say that?" Rose asked. "Things can happen unexpectedly, who knows maybe this is the ship of dreams after all-

"Rose, I hardly know the man!" I exclaimed, interrupting her. "I could be in Ada's position and be oblivious. How heartbreaking could that be." I waved my hand. "This is nothing more than mere flirtation. I cannot pine for a man who I will only know for a short time." I added.

Rose smiled. "Things happen." After a moment or two, she suddenly got up. "That reminds me, I have to do something."

I looked up at her in confusion. "What's the matter?" I stood up and watched her start to walk towards the Third Class area of the ship.

"Save me a seat at lunch." She answered.


	8. Daring Desires

_**TO MY READERS: I apologize emphatically for my delay in updating this fan fiction. I was busy finishing my first work: "Where We Belong" and I am busy getting ready to deploy out (in a matter of days). I will be real busy during the next few months being deployed. I will do my best to write while I have free time and then whenever I get internet access, I will upload every chapter I have completed. Thank you for checking my work out!**_

 _ ****I do not own nor profit from any characters or names used in Titanic 1997; only my own****_

 **CHAPTER EIGHT**

 **DARING DESIRES**

Rose had gone to seek Mr. Dawson after our conversation on the First Class deck. At first I had thought I had bored her enough to want to leave, this I voiced to her during lunch earlier in the day:

"Oh! No!" Rose dropped her soup spoon into her bowl, causing some of the green liquid to splash. "You weren't boring me at all!" She laughed. "I really enjoyed our conversation, you and Officer Murdoch." She winked, taking a sip of her tea.

"Shhhhhh!" I didn't want my Mother or Father hearing his name. "It is bad enough I don't like to wear my engagement ring, but if they hear about me talking to another man I will really have it." I whispered frantically. She nodded in understanding. I tried to change the subject; "So what does he look like?"

She sipped her tea once more. "He is a little bit taller than me, blonde hair, blue eyes." If Cal wasn't around, I was willing to bet she wouldn't be so comfortable talking about Jack's looks. "He is the most talented artist I have had the pleasure of getting to know. I was fortunate enough to see some of his work. He has been to Paris, that is where a lot of his drawings where done. Very detailed work I should mention."

I listened with rapt attention:

"Paris? That is so romantic!" I took a piece of apple. "So, what were his drawings of?" I asked while trying to chew. Rose pursed her lips together. "Well of some women, one in particular was an older woman who wore all her jewelry at once, thinking she would find the love of her life." She then motioned for me to lean in. "And a prostitute." She whispered.

I nearly choked on my spiced apple; I covered my mouth to prevent myself from causing a scene by making noise. After I was able to manage swallowing, I took a sip of water. I glanced to around me to see that mother was in deep conversation with Rose's mother and Eve, lucky for me.

"A prostitute? You mean someone who gets paid to-"

"Exactly, and she only had one leg too." Rose said quietly with a chuckle. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to prevent myself from laughing maniacally. I turned around in my chair to try and get my composure. It was not an easy thing to do.

"What is the matter?" I could hear my mother ask, and not in a concerning way. I quickly turned back around to see a not-so-cheery look on Mother's face. "Just girl talk." I straightened out my dress and looked over at Rose who was trying to hide a smile while sipping her tea.

"Well it is disruptive." Mother admonished me quietly. "Oh now let them have their fun." Ruth touched Mother's shoulder. "After all both of them will be married soon so let them be for now." This was quite surprising coming from Rose's mother. Normally she would scoff at such behavior.

I cringed once again at hearing about myself getting married. I should have been used to hearing it by now but I kept picturing Richard Dalton and him trying to take me to bed on my wedding night. It was enough to make someone ill, Mother of all people could have been a little bit sympathetic if she really tried.

"Speaking of getting married, do tell what are your colors?" Ruth asked. I cocked an eyebrow at the question. Couldn't we move on from the subject?

"Sea green and peach." I tried my hardest to be enthusiastic. I wanted to strangle this woman sitting across from me.

"Angela picked them out herself, I wanted lavender, but it is her wedding after all." Mother added. Ruth looked at her with a hint of disgust. "Oh, she made the right choice Patricia!" She exclaimed. "I cannot stand lavender. As a matter of fact, Rose here decided to go with the dreaded color after much instance from me not to."

"There are different variations of the color Mother. Don't get yourself all worked up over something so trivial." Rose said. Her mother in turn shot her a stern, sharp look.

"It was rather difficult wanting to choose colors, I mean it is a one-time event in a young woman's life after all." Mother interjected. "Originally it was white and peach, then lilac and light brown, then just dark blue." She took a sip of her tea. "Oh, and then Angie had the hard decision of picking out bridesmaids." Mother talked and acted like I was no longer at the table. At least the attention was off of me as I watched Ruth sip her tea in turn.

"I don't want to get married Rose." I entrusted to Rose quietly. She looked at me in understanding. "I know how you feel." I felt like we were reliving the same conversation from the day before.

"You want to go somewhere else?" Rose asked. I looked at her and nodded. "Dear God yes." I laughed. I dabbed the corner of my mouth with a napkin. "Mother, Mrs. Dewitt-Bukater, may we be excused?" I asked.

Mother nodded. "Yes, Eve you want to go along?" She looked over at Eve who too looked like she wanted to get away. "She can come." I couldn't leave her alone with those two. There was no one her age to accompany her and as much as Eve annoyed me sometimes, I couldn't abandon her.

"Ladies, remember tonight, we have that important dinner. All of the officers not on duty will be there. Oh, and Angela, please consider wearing that lovely mauve and gold gown. It goes so well with your hair and eyes." Mother said. I wanted to once again roll my eyes.

"What about me mama?" Eve asked.

"Yes Mother, what about her? You ought to make her look more alluring than me. After all you don't want all these dashing young seamen fawning over an "engaged woman?" I could not help myself. Rose burst out into laughter while Mother turned red. Ruth looked at me as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears.

After a moment or so Mother had gained her composure. "Eve, wear the new one we got you in London. You know which one it is." She said flatly.

"The blue one?" Eve cocked her head to the side. Mother nodded. "Yes. Just be ready by 6:30." She shot me one last look before we turned to leave. I got the reaction I wanted.

"Serves her right, why does she put more emphasis on you than me?" Eve asked as we got far enough from the dining room to talk.

"I don't know, maybe subconsciously she doesn't want me to marry the buffoon. Rose, any place in particular you want to go?" I asked as we turned the corner. "Yes, I want you to meet Jack." She smiled. "After all, I have met Officer Murdoch earlier." I could feel heat trickle into my pours. "Rubbish!" I exclaimed. She winked at me devilishly. "He is only someone I met in passing and happened to share a dance with. Nothing more and nothing less." I couldn't speak of my real feelings, I didn't trust Rose all that well yet.

The sun hit us as we walked the decks. Eve opened her parasol to block out the rays; it warmed me up and considering there wasn't much of a breeze, it was the perfect day. Both Eve and I instinctively let Rose take the lead since she had an idea of where he could be.

We came down a small set of stairs to an open benched area. Many people occupied the open space; old and young, fat and skinny, I noticed a couple women wearing brightly-colored fabrics, their hair covered. As we slowly followed Rose, we began to get many stares from the Third-Class crowd. A man even bowed down to us, this I found unsettling. I grinned warmly at him as we walked past him. Rose grabbed my arm gently and pointed him out to me. He was sitting next to a young girl, she was watching him draw with glee. An Italian-looking man noticed us and got Jack's attention. He looked up at us and blinked with uncertainty.

"Hello Jack." She said softly. Eve put her parasol up and I shifted in my stance. I was quite nervous being down here, I could understand how nervous these people would be if the roles were reversed. The young girl pointed at Eve's parasol and smiled.

"I love your umbrella." She said. Eve smiled. "Thank you! Do you want to hold it?" She offered the girl the light pink, dainty object. The girl hesitated for a moment and took it, feeling the lace and satin. "It is so pretty." She said with awe. I couldn't help but smile.

"Jack, may I introduce to you Angela Stewart, and her younger sister, um, sorry I-"

"It's Eve Stewart." Eve grinned. "Pleasure to meet you." She stuck her hand out, which Jack happily accepted. "Nice to meet you." He said. I offered my hand. "Jack, it is finally nice to meet you. Rose has said nothing but great things." His hand was warm.

"Well I am afraid that Rose here hasn't told me about you two." He closed his sketchbook and grabbed his coat. "There really isn't much to talk about." I said shrugging my shoulders. Jack smiled and tapped my shoulder. "You are a hero you know." I said, returning the gesture. "Eve, I think they want to be alone." I motioned for her to come with me.

"No, no, it's alright." Jack insisted. I looked at Rose then back at Jack. "You and Eve are more than welcome to stay." Rose said.

Eve looked over at me. "I have to go and pick out what I want to wear for tonight, I really don't want to wear that blue dress mama was talking about anyway. The damn thing is hideous." I couldn't help but burst out in laughter, neither could Rose and Jack. "Did they teach you that in finishing school?" Jack asked incredulously. I shook my head. "No, she did not learn that there. Eve you sure? Mother will get angry if you don't wear it." I asked her.

"Yes and you can burn it." Eve answered. "I didn't even pick it out, I hate the frills and such. It makes me look like I am ten." She then looked over at the young girl. "You can keep the parasol." She said happily. "What's your name?"

"Cora." The girl said with a glint of happiness in her eye. "Thank you so much for the umbrella!" She hugged it to her chest. "You are very welcome Cora." She took her hand and squeezed it. "I will see you later Angie." Eve walked off leaving us three behind. I watched as a man a little older than her stared at her intensely.

"She is funny." Jack implied. "Actually, Rose did mention something about you, but I didn't want your sister knowing."

"Is it about a certain First Officer?" I inquired, cocking my eyebrow. He nodded; "Yes, and how you are in a similar situation as Rose." I looked around in unease. "Well Eve knows about Mr. Murdoch, but thank you for your discretion anyway." I put my hand on his arm. "As for the engagement part, that is another story."

Rose spoke up. "Let's take a walk about the decks. This weather is absolutely gorgeous." She then looked down at Cora who was looking up at us with a frown. Jack bent down and patted her head. "You stay here with Fabrizio and your father, I will see you later." Cora grinned in satisfaction. I waved "bye" to her as we walked out of the third-class area and out towards "our area".

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 _ **1**_ _ **ST**_ _ **OFFICER MURDOCH'S POV**_

 _A knock on my door awoken me; I had just dozed off after being disturbed earlier by the sounds of Chief Officer Wilde and Officer Pitman over some debate of whether who made the best pot of coffee. The knocks came again and this time I became incensed._

" _Is it an emergency? Bloody hell can a man get some sleep around here?!" I bellowed then threw the pillow over my head._

" _Will, it's Angela." A voice came from outside my door; the voice of an angel. My eyes bulged in shock and somehow, fear. Wasting no time, I quickly pushed my blanket away and grabbed my robe. I didn't want anyone to see some woman outside my room, causing rumors. I sure as hell didn't want Ada once again on my back over silly shit. I cracked open the door just enough to see it was indeed Angela Stewart. She was in a light green day dress, her hair surprisingly down. It was beautiful to say the least._

 _I motioned for her to come in shut the door quickly. "Angela, what are you doing here?" I asked, scratching my neck. She looked up at me demurely and without warning, walked up and put her arms around my neck_

" _Angie-"_

 _I was then interrupted by a kiss that took my breath away. She tasted like sweet honey, I wrapped my arms around her and slowly deepened the kiss. Not wanting to stop. I could feel myself becoming ever so aroused by this; the only thing preventing her from feeling my desires was a clad robe. I stopped us in our tracks, fearing her feeling what I had growing needless to say._

" _We can't Angela." I said breathlessly. "I cannot have you like this." I gently pushed her away. She looked at me with her kissed lips, and grabbed me once again. This time her mouth moved to my neck._

" _Will…." She whispered between kisses. "I want you to take me….now." She moved her mouth to middle of my chest, causing me to close my eyes in desire. The more I felt her mouth on my skin, the more I couldn't resist her. I grabbed her head gently, weaving my hands into her dark tresses, causing her to stop and moan gently._

 _She once again planted her soft lips on mine, this time I wanted to test her limits. I opened my mouth slightly and worked my tongue into her mouth, this caused her literally to swoon. I grabbed her arms to steady her. She accepted my tongue as hers danced with mine. "Will…make me yours." She whispered._

 _I had had enough._

 _I seized her and then picked her up and placed her gently on my bed. I crawled on top of her and began to work the buttons on her bodice. I kissed the skin below her neck, causing her to coo. I wanted to savor the moment as much as I could. At this point, I hadn't given a damn about anyone outside my quarters or even Ada. In all honesty, I was trying to think of a way to gently tell her I wanted to end the engagement. Angela was my pet, I wanted her, I needed her. I wanted her to be mine. I couldn't think of any better way of making her mine. I be her first and hopefully only._

 _Angela opened her beautiful eyes and looked at me in that way. I wanted to hear her say my name, I wanted to feel myself inside of her…_

The dinner horn awoke Will from a turbulent sleep. He laid next to Ada in his room, thankfully she was sound asleep. He had given in to her constant begging of sleeping with him before he had to attend the dinner with the other off officers. Layers of sweat blanketed his face and chest. His chest heaved.

"Oh dear lord." He breathed. "Oh no."


	9. Courage

**Hello my fabulous readers, I hope that this will keep you happy for the next week or so. Being deployed sucks considering the amount of qualifications I have to get, but like Officer Murdoch, I love the sea. I will warn you that this chapter is lengthy considering it gives two POVs: Angela's && Officer Murdoch's. Also, it will start to grow more interesting as we see the tension between these two grow and eventually reach its peak. Enjoy and as always, review. **

****** _ **I ONLY OWN MY OWN CHARACTERS****_

 **CHAPTER NINE**

 **COURAGE**

Once again, I was getting ready for another night of pomp and circumstance with the other first-class elite. Only this dinner would be different; Jack would be joining us. He was invited to dinner by Cal Hockley on Rose's insistence. I could not imagine how this would turn out; I was afraid he would be ridiculed and embarrassed by the others, mainly by Rose's mother and Cal. Mother and Father were considered "new money" and even we had gotten _some_ harsh words behind our backs. Mrs. Brown too received such ridicule behind her back, but the more I had gotten to know her, the more she could care less about it. I fell in love with Molly from the start, she reminded me of Fran so much.

Earlier, after I met the face behind the name, I had excused myself and Eve. I knew Rose wanted some much-needed privacy with the man who had saved her from falling over. Eve instantly developed a fancy over him; could I blame her? His cool blue eyes, baby-faced wayward appearance. He would be any girl's dream come true. The way my sister looked at him had reminded me of my want for William Murdoch; I knew I was crazy to think that he would leave Ada and come to me. I wanted to declare my heart to him, scream it from the bridge of the ship. I wanted to paint his name in the stars. I could be good to him, if he let me.

It would never happen.

My thoughts were cut short as I felt my chest being squeezed in by Fran pulling on my corset straps. I grasped the side of my vanity as she continued to fasten me down my back. "Are you trying to suffocate me?" I hissed. She gradually used less force. "Sorry, I didn't know I was being so hard." She quipped. "So, what do you have picked out for tonight's dinner?" She asked. I felt a small bit of relief as she finally finished the task.

"My new gown, the brownish rose one." I wasn't going to wear it just because Mother had suggested I wear it, I happened to fall in love with it when I bought it in London. It had a matching sash but instead of wearing it in its normal fashion, I had enlisted the help of Fran to do my hair into a braided crown of sorts. I cut the sash into a few thin ribbons and one was braided into my hair. A few wisps of curls had managed to escape, perfectly complimenting the neckline the dress would produce.

"Listening to your mother for once?" Fran laughed. I grabbed the dress from my wardrobe and laid it upon my bed. "Actually, I am wearing it because _**I**_ want to." I took a sip of my wine. "She doesn't like my hair this way but I do. She says it is too "bohemian" and I ought to have it like the others." I looked in the mirror and picked an eyelash of my face. "Like I want to be like those debutants anyway." I couldn't help but let out a disgustful sigh.

Fran nodded in understanding. "So, is a certain man going to be in attendance?" She smirked. I bit my lip and thought about last night and how beautiful Ada had looked. She had the grace and elegance that I could only dream of. Her brightly blushed cheeks and long eyelashes was adorned with her chestnut perfect hair. "If he is, that is his choice." I shrugged in insignificance as I walked over to my bed and picked up my dress.

"Your attitude has changed much." Fran put her hand on her hips, she looked at me suspiciously. "What happened?" I stepped into the dress and pulled it to my chest. "I cannot chase a man who is betrothed to someone else." I tried my hardest to look strong on the outside, inside I wanted to crumble. Fran walked behind me and began to fasten the dress up.

"It sounds like he doesn't want to marry her, if he truly wanted to he would have a long time ago." She said. I felt so conflicted as to what to feel, I wanted this voyage to be over and to never see him again, but I wanted to be in his arms and feel his touch. I looked over at Mother who had walked in, luckily, she walked in at the moment of Fran not talking.

"That dress is so beautiful Angela, it suits you." Mother smiled. She walked up and felt the softness of the fabric. "I do wish you would change your hair." She sighed. I rolled my eyes and I reached over for my white gloves. "I wish you could please stop dictating every single thing about me." I said under my breath.

Mother must have heard me because she immediately scowled at me. "We need to leave." She managed to say then turned on her heel. "I will see you later." I looked over Fran and twirled a piece of my dress. "How do I look?"

She looked at me and simply smiled a lop-sided smile. "You don't want to see him with her, am I right?" It was at that moment I knew she saw right through me; I could not lie. I leaned against my bed post and closed my eyes. I didn't want to cry, I couldn't cry for a man who didn't want me.

I simply nodded. It was all I could do.

She padded over and placed her hands on my shoulders. "You are too young and too wonderful to be pining over some sailor who doesn't know what he wants." She looked in my eyes. "Go to that party with your head held high." I smiled through fresh tears and placed my head on her chest like I had done so many times before when I was sad. She squeezed me tightly and then kissed the top of my head.

"I love you." I said then turned to leave.

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 _ **1**_ _ **st**_ _ **Officer Murdoch's POV**_

My hands were uncharacteristically shaky as I tried to tie my tie in place. I couldn't understand why of all nights I was so nervous. I stopped what I was doing and closed my eyes, slowly I breathed in and out. I could begin to feel my bearings again; I felt the familiar feeling of cold sweat in my underarms, no doubt staining my new dress shirt. I kept looking at my clock, noting the time I had left before having to go to Ada's cabin.

The more I had thought about the ship's maiden voyage coming to an end in New York and us possibly being married by then, the more tense and uncomfortable I had become. I couldn't admit my true feelings to Ada; I would never forgive myself for hurting her like that. All my life I never thought of myself first; it was not in my character…..but enough was enough.

I took some aftershave and slapped both sides of my face softly; I looked in the mirror. My eyes bore of a man who was almost forty years old. All my life I knew of only one thing and that was the sea. The sea was my one true love, until recently. Ada deserved nothing but happiness; she could have any man she wanted. With her mind and her spirit, she could bewitch any man who came across her.

I swallowed deeply and walked over to my bed. My pressed jacket had no signs of lent or wrinkle. My medals sparkled in the light of my desk lamp. With one fluid motion, I swung it around and stuck my arms through. I methodically buttoned all the buttons as before, careful to not miss one. I walked over to my full-length mirror and looked at myself one last time, my oxfords were newly polished and my slacks, as crisp and neat as before. After being satisfied with what I saw, I reached over to pick my pocket watch off my nightstand and once again, looked at the time. I nodded and closed it shut, grabbed my cover off the bed and turned the light off.

Walking down the short corridor of the officers' passage, I hadn't got very far before I almost collided into Officer Lightholler. Once again, he had something in his mouth; he couldn't go an hour without complaining that he was hungry.

"You going by Ada's suite?" He took the cookie out of his mouth to talk. Crumbs had fallen onto the sleeve of his jacket.

"Yes, I had planned on it." We got to the end of the hall and walked up the ladderwell. He was still trying to finish his snack as we turned the corner to the descend the second-class passageway. "You alright mate?" He asked. "You seem so distracted as of late."

I shrugged my shoulders. "You know how long I take to get over something. The demotion and all." I hadn't been ready to reveal the truth to him, knowing that he had known Ada for some time. "It's been bothersome." I lied.

He padded me on the back rather hard. "You will be a fine Chief Officer in due time." We got closer to our ladies' rooms. I adjusted my tie and walked up to Ada's door. "Darling, you decent?" I knocked softly.

"Come in." I heard her voice from behind the door. "See you upstairs." I nodded to Lights; opening the door, I saw Ada putting her silk gloves on. She looked beautiful in her light pink dress. Her brown hair was what it had always been, piled up on the top of her head. She was one who never tried anything different. "You look very handsome Will." She said sweetly. I managed to smile and walked over to her.

"You look pretty as always." I kissed her chastely on the cheek. She turned to face me and put her arms around my neck. "I wanted to see if you and I could finish what we started last night?" Her eyes twinkled lustfully. Involuntarily, I cringed inside. A normal man would practically give up all gentlemanly protocol in this situation, but I had nothing left inside of me. I was a man who had fallen out of love.

I closed my eyes for a solution, this had become too awkward. "Ada, we are not married and I this isn't-"

"Proper." She nodded rolling her eyes. She walked away from me and sighed with frustration. This would be yet again another night of constant strain. She looked back at me, only with a different light in her eyes. "You don't want to marry me." She proclaimed softly. "This has been going on for way too long and I can see a change in you."

I licked my lips and sat on the edge of the bed. "Ada, the past couple of days have been very trying on me. You don't understand." She wasn't having it. "You are right, I don't understand." She pursed her lips. "You have been different since you danced with that first-class girl. What I don't understand is how you can treat me like I am stupid enough to not notice these subtle changes." Her voice screamed with envy.

I said nothing and looked down at my cuff link. I wanted nothing more than to be away from this room, this ship, and this very planet. "Let's just go to this party and talk about this later." I suggested. She frowned at me and then grabbed her matching shawl. She walked past me and opened the door, walking right out. I felt bad in a way that this was going on but I could not help but start to feel a little bit of freedom, piece by piece.

As I shut the door behind me, I noted to surprised looks of Charles and his wife Sylvia. I felt a pang of embarrassment as I put my cover on. "Is everything alright William?" Sylvia asked.

I nodded. "It is so frustrating trying to decide on a wedding date." I lied once again. Lights looked as if he saw right through me. "Oh, so you are going to go ahead with it?" Lights asked suspiciously. I looked up at him and sighed. "We are going to be late getting to dinner."

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 _ **Angela's POV**_

Eve's jaw had dropped as she watched the young officer take her hand and gently kiss the top of it. Fifth Officer Lowe looked dashing in his dinner dress uniform, his brown hair looked shiny in the lights. "Good evening Miss Stewart." He smiled. Eve could only manage a nod as she was too frightened to speak. I had to gently nudge the child.

"Oh, my apologies Sir." She said breathlessly. I thought this was so childish. Lowe never stopped smiling. "It's Harold." She in turn smiled. "I am Eve." This was one of many young men she was smitten by since being on board. I grabbed my chair and sat down, I had prepared myself for the inevitable. William Murdoch would walk in with his beautiful bride-to-be and I would have to watch them laugh and dote on one another.

As I adjusted myself in my chair, I looked up and saw Ada walk in with a rather unpleasant look on her face. She just happened to be looking right at me. A cold sensation ran down my spine; I was not so sure what to make of it but it made my stomach drop. Not too far behind Officer Lightholler and his wife were walking hand-in-hand. Will was on the other side of Sylvia, he didn't look to happy either. The Captain stood up to welcome the two men with a nod. He in turn took Sylvia's hand and kissed it like Officer Lowe did Eve's.

They took their seats opposite of Mother and I; Eve and Father sat on the other side of me. I watched as Will offered Ada her seat, she ignored him took another seat. I felt bad for how he was being treated in front of the numerous people who were starting to gather at the table. He looked up and locked his eyes with me; I watched as the trace of embarrassment left his face and his features began to soften. He grinned warmly at me and I returned the same. It was once again another one of those same instances of making eyes. I had to admit to myself it would not go any further than this.

"Care for any caviar Miss?" I watched as a maitre'd placed a platter in front of me. I shook my head. "No thank you, but I would care for another glass." I held my champagne glass up and smiled. Another maitre'd came over and happily poured me my third glass. I noticed that my sister, who was usually not one to indulge in unknown foods, take a cracker and scoop up some caviar. She barely got some into her mouth when her face contorted into one of disgust. I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my champagne. It was one of many times she tried to act grown up. It was funny to watch nevertheless.

I glanced over and saw Rose, who looked absolutely stunning, and another man with her. They were at the next table beside us. It took me a moment or so to figure out that it was _Jack Dawson!_ He looked completely different from the man I met earlier in the day down in steerage. His hair was slicked back and his cuff links shined. It was like night and day.

"Mother, may I be excused?" I didn't give her time to respond. I padded over to the next table and noted Rose's look of delight when she saw me.

"Your hair is so beautiful!" She took my hand and squeezed it. I smiled in response and looked over at Jack who grinned back. "You look so..so..oh my goodness!" I laughed. I couldn't get the words out. He nodded and laughed himself. "I have been getting a lot of this tonight." Rose looked happier than she had been the entire voyage and I had known from this moment that these two were meant for each other. It had been fate.

"I should be getting back to my table, see you later?" I looked up at Rose. She nodded and I hurried back to my seat, I saw that turkey had been served. As I placed the napkin on my lap, Mother leaned in.

"Who is that boy that Rose is with?" She whispered. I looked at her and took a sip of my champagne. "Some man who assisted her with something. Cal invited him." I noted Mother's look of confusion. "Assistance with what?" I closed my eyes in mild annoyance. "She slipped last night remember? Trying to look at a _propeller._ "

"Isn't he a third-class passenger?" Mother asked.

"Yes, like I just said, he was invited here for dinner." I noted Mother's surprised expression as I tried to eat my meal. After several moments, I looked up and saw Will and Officer Lightholler deeply engaged in some conversation. Ada ate her dinner in silence; I couldn't help but take some pleasure in her discomfort.

"So, Miss Stewart, your mother has been telling me that you are to be married at the end of the month." I looked up and saw an older woman looking at me. Her hair was beginning to gray, she looked to be a little older than mother. I once again forced a smile. "Yes." This was beginning to be a common occurrence and it was exasperating.

"This must be very joyous for you dear!" She smiled ear-to-ear, I was not. I started to think of something equally as emphatic to say, but for some reason I chose not to. "No actually it isn't." I watched the smile on her face disappear quickly. "I don't understand." Her head cocked to the side.

I didn't know if it was because Officer Murdoch was at the table, or if the champagne was giving me courage, but I was not going to back down. "I am not in love with this man nor do I wish to give myself to him. My father thought it was a brilliant idea to promise me to him, which I still do not understand." All eyes were on me now, including those of Will, and the feeling was exquisite.

"Angela, hold your tongue." Mother sharply whispered in my ear. I could feel her nails dig into my arm. I didn't care, I had had enough.

"This man that I engaged to, or excuse me, being practically sold to, is twice my age, balding, and doesn't know the first thing about me." I reached over and grabbed my champagne glass, taking a sip, savoring the flavor. "I don't even wear his ring. It sits in my vanity." I looked over at Will who looked back at me in awe. I couldn't tell if it was in a good or bad way.

I felt magnanimous.

No one at the table knew what to say or do, they kept looking at each other and some whispered amongst themselves. I looked over at Mother whose face was red as her merlot. I couldn't conclude if it was out of embarrassment or anger. Father simply just stared at his food.

"Miss Stewart, I think you are mighty brave to be speaking your feelings like that in front of everyone." I snapped my direction over to Officer Lightholler. I grinned and raised my glass to him. "Thank you, Sir."

"Angela, I am going with Jack to a party down below, you have to come with me." I heard Rose whisper in my ear. She stood behind me, her hand on my shoulder. My eyes danced with delight as I absorbed what she had told me. I looked back at everyone and sat my glass down.

"Ladies and gentlemen, tonight has been very nice, I am afraid that I have to go up on the bridge." I watched the Captain nod to the dinner crowd. Officer Lightholler and Officer Lowe got up from their chairs to follow the Captain I assumed. I watched as Officer Lightholler kissed his wife on the cheek, and Will hesitantly walked over to Ada and whisper something in her ear. She looked uninterested as usual.

I thought this was a clever excuse to quietly make my way down below decks, to what was in my mind, the place I needed to be. As I stood up, Mother grabbed my arm. "Where are you off to? You have _NOT_ been properly excused." Her voice was low but ominous. I looked down at her. "I am sorry, may I please be excused?" She gave me no answer, so in a moment of rebellion, I took it upon myself. "I will be in bed at the usual time." I assured her and walked off, hopefully to forget my troubles.


	10. Voices From the Heart

****** _ **I ONLY OWN MY OWN CHARACTERS****_

 **CHAPTER TEN**

 **VOICES FROM THE HEART**

The more below the three of us got, the louder the noise became. The haze in the air was thick with cigarette smoke as we got to the crowded scene. Music echoed in my ears, the people around me were carrying on, having a good time. Some were happily engaging in beer, others dancing, looking so carefree. Jack had been right, this was a real party. Not some stuffy affair.

Anyone would assume that First Class or even Second was livelier; not so much. These people didn't have to think about frivolous things like parties, latest gossip, or business and politics. The only thing to them was how to survive or make the best of what they had. It became more apparent to me as I witnessed a young boy whisper something into a girl's ear, making her smile.

Rose grabbed my hand, and motioned for me to sit down at a tiny table. I shifted my dress to make myself more comfortable and watched as Jack brought us a round of beers. I suddenly felt myself blush and looked up and him with a look of hesitance.

"What's the matter?" He asked rather humorously while taking a puff of his cigarette.

"I can't drink this!" I pointed to the tall glass of dark liquid. "I have never done this before." Jack looked at me for a moment before taking his cigarette out of his mouth. Rose had just taken a sip herself, and from the looks of her, she didn't mind the taste.

"You have to try something once. Go on." He insisted. I heaved a sigh and picked the glass up ever so carefully. I put it to my lip.

"Just imagine Officer Murdoch wanting you to try it." Rose laughed. I shot her a sharp look. "I don't think he would ever ask me to do such a thing." I tried to laugh it off. "This is different!"

After another moment, I gave in and took a sip. The taste was actually pretty decent and it felt really good going down my throat. I licked my lips and then took another sip, this time longer.

"Better than champagne!" Jack reached over and patted my shoulder. I chuckled in my glass as I continued to drink. This was some really good beer, even if it was my first. As I managed to finish, I could feel my stomach churn in a way. After a short while, I turned my head and belched. Thankfully with the music blaring in the background, no one heard it.

"So ladylike!" Rose yelled in my ear. I rolled my eyes and put my glass down. "So much for my education from the finest finishing school in New England!" I giggled back. She slapped my arm as she laughed even harder. "Is this Irish beer?" I managed to ask after my hysterical laughing fit. Jack nodded. "We drink only the best down here."

"Hello Jack!" I watched as the same little girl Eve and I met earlier in the day walk over to Jack and give him a tight hug around his neck. "Cora! Not so tight!" Jack laughed. "What are you doing down here?" She put her mouth up to his ear to whisper. He nodded with every word.

"I would love to dance with you!" Jack took her hand and stood up to go follow her out to the dance floor. I smiled as I watched Jack help her turn. It was adorable. I felt a tap on my arm and I looked up at Rose who was smiling ear to ear. "What?" I asked. She nodded in my direction, her smile not leaving her face. I hesitated to turn around but was once again insisted.

It was Officer Murdoch and Officer Lightholler. Both looked more relaxed than at the First-Class dinner; Will's tie was slightly undone at the collar and Officer Lightholler began to light a cigarette. I felt the urge to run out of fear of Will seeing me down here. I was more afraid of being judged than being caught at a third-class party. I was also curious as to why they were down here.

Will looked over my way and his eyes locked with mine. My mouth had already gone dry as I remembered my behavior at dinner. There was no way he would ever see me the same again. He walked over to me and bent down. "What in God's name are you doing down here?" He asked in a way incredulously; his smile was humorous. "I am at a _real_ party!" I shouted back, motioning over to Rose. "We had to escape our personal prisons for a while!"

"You must have partaken in some of the fine grog down here." I suddenly felt heat rise into my cheeks. My breath must have smelled awful. He laughed as he noticed my inner panic. "Not to worry, your secret is safe with me." He turned his head over towards Officer Lightholler. "Hey Lights, bring me and the lady a pint!" I didn't know whether to accept or not. I no longer knew what to think as I continued to look into his eyes.

He grabbed a stool and sat in front of me; his eyes never leaving mine. "What you said tonight took a lot of courage." I felt his breath on my ear; this started to heat my insides up. "I spoke from my heart." I said into his ear. Officer Lightholler came back with two icy glasses filled to the top with dark, Irish beer. "Thank you!" I looked up at the Second Officer and smiled. He in turn nodded and took a place beside Will.

"It is too loud down here!" Officer Lightholler grimaced. His cigarette hanging off his lip. "Sylvia is going to be pissed if she knew I was down here!" Will looked over at him. "Not as angry as Ada." I took a long sip of my beer. "Are you even going to marry her?" I asked, rather boldly. It was at that moment I knew that I was starting to cross some boundaries, thanks in part to the champagne at dinner and now the beer.

"Let's move this somewhere more private." He said softly in my ear. "Lights, I am going to show Miss. Stewart the promenade, care to join?" Lights shook his head. "No, I will be heading to bed early. You go on."

I looked over at Rose who was clapping along to Jack and Cora's little dance. "I am going with Will, will you be alright down here?" I yelled. Rose looked over at me and winked. "Be careful!" She laughed. I smiled almost wickedly and grabbed my shawl. "Don't forget your beer!" Will handed me my glass. I followed him up the ladderwell, away from the haze of smoke and boisterous laughter to somewhere unknown with the man I was helplessly and madly in love with.

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The promenade was away from the common areas of where the passengers usually gathered. It not very secluded, but more private than what I had been used to when being outside. I could hear some of the music that was being played by the ship's band, from the first-class dining room. The party must have been still going on. The wind had calmed down some, enough to where I didn't have to wrap myself with my shawl. Will and I were sitting on the edge of the promenade steps, going back and forth between looking at the stars and talking about our different backgrounds.

"Scotland seems so beautiful." I loved how he would use his hands to help describe every detail of his upbringing. He had put his heart into every word and would even describe the very smell and taste of some of the popular meals he talked about growing up. "I would never eat sheep." I laughed.

"It isn't all that bad lass." He laughed back. "If it is cooked right, you would love it." I shook my head and looked away. "I prefer beef and chicken thank you." I looked back at him and smiled. The more we talked, the more natural it felt to be near him. Gone was the feeling like my heart was going to fly out of my chest or the butterflies.

I knew that the conversation from before had to be continued. I started to get my bearings back thanks in part to the fresh air but I still wanted an answer. I looked at him from the side intensely, as if I was trying to memorize every freckle that covered his cheeks. "So about my question from the party, I didn't mean to be so bold." In a way I did mean it, but still the mystery was alluring.

He looked back at me, his face soft. "I have been meaning to talk to you about that." He cleared his throat. "Have you ever met someone and in a brief moment they captivate you?" I swallowed and continued to look into his eyes. My God they were so beautiful, even the small wrinkles at the corners. "Yes." I immediately regretted being so honest. "I mean…well..I have."

"When I met Ada many years ago, I was younger and at the time I didn't really know what I wanted." I listened on. "As our families got to know one another and as I got older, the pressure for me to propose and marry became heavy. My parents, especially my father wanted the family name to be carried on, I felt like I had that obligation to do just that." He sighed. "I am not in love with her anymore, haven't been in months. I don't know how to tell her, I mean if she wasn't on board with me, things would be much easier."

"Why did she insist on coming with you?" I tucked my hands into my lap. He took a sip of his beer. "She begged, and a part of me thinks that she wants to marry at a courthouse once we dock in New York." He once again shifted his gaze at me. "We are in pretty much the same predicament."

I nodded solemnly, he was right, but he had the power to do what he wanted. I, however, did not. "I am thinking about running away and starting a new life. As crazy as that sounds." I got up from the edge of the promenade and walked over to the railing. "I want to be with a man who loves me and I love back." I looked up at the bright moon. "Fall in love, courtship, then marriage. Honeymoon all over the world, not feel like I was being sold to the highest bidder." I felt myself on the inside start to crumble. "I don't want to have my first experiences with a man who doesn't love me." I tried to hide my hands so that he couldn't see me wipe my tears.

"I could go to California, possibly. Or travel south to Florida, become a nurse." I continued on. "Have no burdens on me at all. Just the feeling of sand in my toes and the sun on my face." I smiled. "My own paradise." I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder. I instinctively turned around to find it was him. He must have seen my tears because he took his thumb and wiped them. With his other hand, he caressed my cheek, causing me to lightly gasp. "You captivate me Angela." He whispered. Hearing him say my name was like the sweetest song. "And you captivate me." I whispered. He cupped my face, his blue eyes piercing mine. Before I could think, he dipped his head low and I felt his lips upon mine. It was so soft and slow. I never envisioned my first kiss to be like this; it was perfect. I brought my hands to his face and continued into our kiss, I wanted to taste this man, I wanted him to taste me. He became bold and I felt the kiss take a more sensual turn; his tongue invaded my mouth gently. I reciprocated and the motion made my insides ignite. He wrapped me in his arms and held me to him as we continued. I wanted nothing more than to do this forever, not having a care in the world.

Eventually I had to get my breath back. I slowly stopped and looked once more into his eyes. After a moment, I came back to my senses. "Will, what will happen once this voyage is over?" I had to ask the inevitable question considering what we had just shared. He stroked my cheek once more. "I don't know. All I do know is that my feelings for you are genuine Angela." His gaze turned serious. "I mean it." I felt a huge weight come off of me. I loved him, but I knew not to say anything. He had been right, I couldn't imagine what would happen once we arrived in New York.

"I don't want to complicate things more for you." He confessed. "You are engaged to another man." His voice suddenly sounding forlorn. I sighed and looked back at him. "I don't love him and he doesn't love me." I licked my lips. "I do know that I love you." I immediately shut my eyes, it had slipped out. I broke away from his embrace and stepped away from him. "Sorry." I muttered.

"For what?" He walked back over to me. I couldn't look at him. "For what I said just now." I felt his hands caress my arms. The feeling was wonderful but my heart was beating wildly from my impromptu confession. "Why are you sorry for telling me how you feel?" I heard him ask behind me. _"Oh, because I barely know you and I am feeling like some daft school girl."_ I thought to myself. _"You are much more experienced than I am in the ways of how the world works and I know deep down inside that we will never see each other again after this…."_

"Angela, please look at me."

I turned around and obeyed. "It is silly." I admitted. "And complicated now." He took me into his arms once more and caressed my back. "We will figure it out. Because I love you too." His head rested on the top of mine. Outside I may have looked more relaxed than before, but inside, my heart was dancing. We continued to hold each other in the officer's promenade. Oblivious to our surroundings, no care in the world. I never wanted it to end….


	11. Caught

**So I was able to find some time away from the hustle and bustle of deployment life and busily draft this. It is not as long as I want it to be, but I hope it is just as enjoyable. As for the next couple of chapters, there will be a delay most likely in getting them typed up and published. I am starting to really get into the grind of getting my shipboard qualifications which means less "me" time and less sleep. Please continue to read and enjoy!**

 _ ****I ONLY OWN MY OWN CHARACTERS****_

 **CHAPTER ELEVEN**

 **CAUGHT**

 _ ****READER'S POV****_

Ada had grown tired of mindlessly chatting with some of the First-Class women who were still present long after their husbands had left to go below decks to enjoy their after-dinner brandy and cigars. Sylvia had retired for the evening, complaining of a bad headache, leaving Ada alone with a newly married woman. They had been in deep conversation about weddings and for Ada, potential honeymoon destinations.

"California is a dream." Dorothy Littleton beamed. "Surely your fiancé would enjoy it since he loves the sea as much as you say." Ada smiled wearily. "If he wants to still get married; I am so frustrated as of late." Her anger was still fresh an hour after she realized he was not going to come back to the party. Sylvia Lightholler had simply shrugged off her husband's absence and had urged Ada to do the same. Nevertheless, Ada's anger had not eased.

"Why are you still waiting?" Dorothy asked. "You don't have to keep waiting on him." Ada sighed in exasperation. "I am patient; I knew what I was coming into when I met him. It has been entirely different here because he was demoted back to First Officer." She wrinkled her nose. "And I also have this suspicion of him fancying another woman."

Dorothy's head cocked in curiosity. "Who is it?"

"You saw, well, _heard_ her earlier during dinner." Ada's nostrils flared. "Angela Stewart. The little wretch completely embarrassed her mother and father no less when she said she wasn't in love with her fiancé." Dorothy shook her head in shame. "I would have given her a good old fashioned whipping."

Ada laughed mirthlessly. "She is a child. If I were her parents, I would marry her off too. Be rid of the little pest." She felt a new rise of anger inside her when she thought of the previous night. She was just about to fall asleep when she heard Will talk in his sleep. It wasn't loud, but she could still make out what he had been mumbling. The only thing she could remember was him saying Angela's name. She didn't mention it out of fear of another argument, but the more she thought of it, the harder it became not to want to yell at him.

"Well, I think that once the maiden voyage is over and he is over his demotion, he will become the man you fell in love with. And he won't ever see _her_ again." Dorothy tried in vain to lift Ada's spirits. "Have you both talked about possibly getting married in New York?"

Ada yawned. "No, but that isn't a bad idea. I will bring it up and see what he thinks." She looked up over at a grand clock at gawked at the time. "I need to get my sleep!" She grabbed her shawl and draped it about her shoulders; she had a hopeful thought that Will would be waiting for her in his cabin. She smirked wickedly as she thought about sneaking to the officer's quarters and spending the night with him.

"Why don't you meet with me after First Class church services and we finish where we left off?" Dorothy smiled. "I know you are Second Class, but I will meet you on the promenade and be your escort." She then bade Ada a good night and caught up with another First class passenger as they were leaving. Ada had made up her mind that she would walk over to the officer's cabins and surprise Will. If anything, she felt that any element of "spice" would hopefully improve their standings.

She briskly walked through the halls and towards the main door, a lascivious smile never leaving her face. She made it her will to make him happy in any way and if that meant making herself more _available_ to him, then so be it. Normally a woman would never do such a thing, but in Ada's mind, this was the only thing she could think of to appeal more to him.

The cold air hit her hard; she tucked an escaped piece of hair behind her ear and began to walk towards the forward part of the ship. Her feet had hurt from being in her new shoes almost all night, she was thankful that she didn't have too much further to go. The moon was out and it cascaded over the water majestically. _What a romantic night to spend with Will, maybe I can coax him into taking me for a walk about the decks…_ She smiled at the thought as she stepped down the small set of stairs. A metal plate with the words "OFFICER PROMENADE" engraved in it was posted nearby. As she got closer to the platform, she could see Will, but his back was turned to her. As she got closer to him, her smile faded as she could see that he had his arms around _another woman_.

Stopping in her tracks, she cocked her head to the left to get a better view. The woman's hands were cupping his face as they were _KISSING._ As she continued to look at them, they turned a little to the point she could identify who the other woman in fact was.

Angela Stewart.

Ada's mouth dropped in shock; she had a feeling that he fancied her, but she didn't think he would risk being caught with her. Anger and hurt had encompassed her very core. She was so angry that she no longer felt the cold night air. Her fists clenched and hot tears spilled from her eyes; she felt rooted to the deck. Her legs were too heavy to confront them or flee.

They had ceased their kissing and looked at each other; he had looked down at her in a way that Will never looked at Ada. He looked to be _in love_. His thumb stroked the side of her face as she grinned up at him. A new wave of emotions overtook Ada as she watched him kiss her once more. This time it was more hungrily than the first time she saw them. She had seen enough.

As she was about to approach them, a thought had entered her mind. She could give into the satisfaction of letting them see her upset, or she could let them linger on and not have them see her standing there watching them. If she went with the second alternative, she could add the bonus of letting her family know the disgrace that Angela had placed on them. She could also put the fear of having Captain Smith know what occurred into Will's mind. It was all too delicious and irresistible to Ada. It would be hard to do, but ultimately it would be the best option. She envisioned Angela walking into the palm room the next day for tea, everyone looking at her, knowing what had went on. Her parents, dying of embarrassment, trying to smile and keep a straight face. She would be the talk of First-Class and what would be infinitely worse, the entire ship.

Quietly, Ada turned on her heel and walked away from the two, heartbroken and full of vengeance. She made her way to her area of the ship, closing a door behind her. The long corridor to her room seemed twice as long and she thought of how to approach Will. Not knowing what to say or do without seeing her upset. It would indeed be a long night.

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 _ **Angela's POV**_

I stopped kissing him and immediately looked over to my right, thinking I had heard something close by. I didn't know if it was from paranoia or if the noise and music of the party was still resonating in my ears. Once I saw nothing, I turned my attention back to Will. His eyes had changed from its normal greyish-blue hue to now a livelier blue. I grinned up at him once more and laid my head back upon his chest.

"I don't want this to end." I muttered. I could hear his heartbeat, it was steady and forceful. He once again wrapped his arms around me; his face burrowing in my hair. "You smell of lilacs." His voice was so rich. The sound of it made my knees feel like they were going to give out. I had never taken part of any sort of intimacy before; this was as close to the act I had ever engaged in. My first kiss, first feeling of a man, wrapping his arms around me; I could _NEVER_ do any of this with Mr. Dalton.

"Love, I have to retire soon for the night. I have to be up real early." He kissed me once more on the ear. I couldn't help but feel disappointed, but I knew that he had a job to do. First Officer of the _Titanic…_ I hesitantly broke myself free from his embrace and once again looked into his eyes. I could make out small lines by his eyes, tiny freckles and small moles. Even in the moonlight. He smiled at me once last time and kissed me gently.

"Will I see you in the morning?" I took his hand into mine. He squeezed it gently. "If you are in church services in the morning then yes, I will be away from the bridge long enough to be in attendance. Ada will be in Second-Class services so she won't see us." I had to admit that a small part of me felt guilty; never in a million years would I ever go behind another woman's back and take her husband, fiancé, or beau. But this was somehow different. The more I thought of Will's happiness with me, the less scandalous I felt. Still, the feeling lingered. "I will be singing with the Captain."

I laughed. "You sing?" The more I learn about you, the more fascinating it gets." He caressed my cheek. "Darling, I am no chanteuse. The First-Class lot will be much louder than the Captain and the rest of us." He explained. "I still want to hear you sing." I winked. He kissed me on the cheek. "And you will regret asking once I do." I nodded and looked back up at him.

"Goodnight." I squeezed his hand once more. As I started to turn and walk away, he grabbed my hand one last time and pulled me into another incredible kiss. I giggled in his kiss. "You need your sleep and I need mine too." I broke away from him finally and resumed my stroll back to First-Class. For the first time in a while and being onboard, I felt genuinely happy. The air was starting to turn really cold as I hurried inside. I opened the first door I could find, which was for Second-Class, and stepped inside to escape the bitter cold. The corridor of rooms was rather long, nevertheless, I took my time. The floors were not carpeted like First-Class's was. The cherry wood was still gorgeous.

I knew that mother and father would be furious not only at my behavior at dinner, but also because I was absent for so long without telling them where I would be. I did not care any longer. _I was an adult!_ I was able to do for myself now. I shouldn't have to marry a man that they want me to marry. It wasn't fair. I couldn't understand how Rose could do it, she was practically an adult herself after all. _Was it because of social status? Was it because of security?_ She never really explained to me why she was marrying him despite her underlying feelings for him.

Continuing in my inner musings, I heard a loud banging, like a slamming door. I passed by an open passageway to my left and stopped in my tracks as I saw Will. I quietly stepped back and got behind the wall and peeked my head to look at him once again. He must have been several feet from me but I could clearly see his face. He looked like he had seen a ghost.

"Ada, open the door." I heard Will yell. I felt a sudden churn in my stomach.

She obeyed him because I watched as she appeared, her hair was down, her face was red.

" _I saw you with that little brat! Kissing her!"_ She screamed. I immediately turned away and felt bile in my throat. My mind went back to when we were on the promenade, when I had thought I had heard someone close by. It was _her._ I heard my heartbeat in my ears, my palms and underarms felt sweaty. I was in trouble if word of this got to my parents.

" _Ada, I want to talk about this in private, there are people watching us!"_ Will was in a frenzy; I slowly peeked around the corner again and sure enough there were several people starting to emerge from their rooms investigating what was going on. Some of them in their night attire. Ada would not take her eyes off of Will. There was a moment of silence between the two. Then, like lightning, she slapped him. The slap was enough to almost knock him completely off of his feet. She had put her life into that slap. I could hear some of other passengers gasp, a couple of them even laughed out loud. The First Officer of the _Titanic_ was physically assaulted in front of everyone.

I swallowed as I tried to decide whether to walk away to First-Class or step in and defend him. _And having to explain of course._ I was torn. My heart wanted to walk over to where he was standing and comfort him from the physical pain of her hitting him and the embarrassment he was going through; my mind however told me to leave them alone.

" _I have nothing to say to you!"_ I heard her once more, then another slamming of the door. Will looked away and over in my direction. I quickly reverted back behind the wall. This was _NOT_ what I wanted to happen. People would know by the morning. I had to get myself ready for the inevitable confrontation by my family and possibly by Ada. Nothing could be worse than this. I leaned up against the wall, my eyes closed. My body had ceased shaking a little but I still felt the cold sweats of fear. I opened my eyes back up, feeling like I had a presence nearby. Sure enough, I saw a pair of cool blue eyes on me. Will's right cheek was beet red from Ada's hand; I was afraid to speak, all I could do was stare up at him.

"You heard everything?" He asked, his voice somewhat raspy. I nodded solemnly, "Unfortunately." He closed his eyes. "I have to go." He placed a hand on my arm and continued past me. I looked back at him, feeling terrible, feeling like all of this was my fault. As his form was now a mere silhouette down the corridor, I started to wonder what would really happen between us after tonight. The more I thought about it, the more scared I got. Of course my wondering about us was less important than his reputation on the ship, but I knew in my heart that I loved him, and he loved me.

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I got to my cabin door and bit my lip. I could envision my mother sitting, a drink in her hand. Her eyes on the door, knowing what to say to me the moment I step in. I looked over at my sister's door to the right of mine. I thought of spending the night with her to avoid Mother…. _NO.._ I had to get this over with. This would only be temporary; I was going to get away the moment we docked in New York. What I confessed outside earlier with Will was more than just some fantasy. It was going to be my one-way ticket to my freedom. Hopefully with him….

My hand grabbed the door handle; it rested there for a moment. I swallowed as I felt my hand squeeze it more and more. My knuckles were starting to turn white. I licked my lips and turned it, slowly opening the door. The light beside my bed was on, nothing else. My bedroom was empty. I sighed a sigh of relief and quietly closed the door behind me. I laid my little bag and shawl on a nearby chair and tried to balance myself as I started to take my dress shoes off. Fran was most likely asleep, so I would have to sleep in my corset. I just wanted to get in bed regardless.

I walked over to my wash basin, and poured some water into the bowl. I made a nice lather in my hands with the soap and began to wash my face vigorously. It had been a small relief to the day I had; as I rinsed my face, I started to hear some whispered voices on the other side of the door that led to our sitting room. I dried my face off and quietly padded over to the door. I could hear the distinctive coughing of my father as my mother was talking.

" _Harold, we need to do something about this girl."_ I heard Mother say. I immediately rolled my eyes. _"After she left us, mind you without saying where she was going, Charlotte Fields, you know the wife of George Fields, told me that she heard that Angela fancied some sailor. A sailor!"_

My heart skipped a beat.

" _Patty, she will be married soon, we won't have to deal with this any longer. Let her have her fun now, before she is settled."_ Father was direct. From hearing the sound of his voice, they would marry me off one way or another. I was doomed. _"She sounded so serious at dinner, do you honestly believe we should push her off on this man?"_ Mother had suddenly sounded actually concerned for a moment. I was surprised. _"Patty, she would be financially secure! Could you picture her feeding three little starving mouths while married to a man with a limited income? Think for a moment would you. Richard would give her everything, more than we ever could. She will learn to love him and respect him."_

At that moment, I detested Father. I really couldn't fathom hating the man, but I did. I had heard enough; I walked back over to the wash basin and grabbed the towel. I quickly dabbed my face dry, then started to undo my hair. As I took the remains of the plait out, the door opened, making me drop my hair brush. Mother looked at me with a stern look on her face and shut the door behind me gently. I looked back at the mirror, avoiding any eye contact with her whatsoever. I knew this would not be a pleasant discussion.

"I see you are back in one piece. You don't know how worried your father and I were tonight. Leaving without saying a word!" She exclaimed. I continued to brush out my hair. "Need I remind you that I am an adult? I can do for my own _without_ being in your presence." I gritted my teeth. She walked over and grabbed the brush from my hand, slamming it on my vanity. "You will _NOT_ speak to me like that!" I turned to look at her, her nostrils flaring, her breathing was audible.

"You are confined to your room for tomorrow, as a matter of fact, I just may make it until we dock." She had meant what she said. Knowing my mother, she would make that happen. I stared at her for some time. "You would lock me like some animal just because Rose and I went to some party below decks? What are you afraid of?" I asked.

Mother scoffed. "Afraid of what?" I backed away from my vanity and started to untie my dress. "Are you afraid that I can make decisions for myself? What is the guarantee that you will even see me marry when we get back? Hmm? You think that I don't have plans for myself? Plans that would involve _MY_ happiness? I meant what I said at dinner, I meant every word! I will not end up some hapless housewife." I watched my mother's reaction. She didn't look as enraged as expected her to be. "I overheard you talking to Father. From the sound of your voice, you don't seem so sure about me marrying this man." I stepped out of my dress. "I am not marrying Richard Dalton. You won't be able to control me once we step off this ship." My words were emphatic.

"You will do as your father says Angela." Hers were just as much.

I said nothing and pulled back the covers. "See you in the morning." Mother turned on her heel, slamming the door behind her. I smiled a little to myself and turned the light off by my bed. Even though I had got through with tonight, I had a feeling that tomorrow would be a much larger obstacle.


End file.
